with Bob Bodenhamer - free books about stuttering
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1. The technique is designed to address unconscious thoughts like those that drive stuttering The following transcript is taken from Bob s therapy notes In our first phone conversation I associated the client into her anxiety which simply means I had her really feel the anxiety She had a heavy and tightening feeling in her stomach a feeling she described as holding back Now move that up to the muscles that control the vocal cords and you have stuttering from her position of experiencing this heavy and tightening feeling in her stomach I asked her to drop down through that feeling BOB What do you feel underneath that feeling LINDA I feel fear fear is there Note that here we have a thought of fear which ties right into anxiety BOB Drop down through the fear What do you feel under the fear LINDA Nothing I don t feel anything BOB Good Now just imagine yourself opening up the nothingness and drop down through and out the other side of the nothingness LINDA I see people It is a little bit scary They are watching me They are expecting me to say something BOB Yes And what does that mean to you LINDA Well I have a sense of wanting to go away and hide BOB OK That makes a lot of sense to someone who tends to stutter when she speaks to a group of people Now just drop down through that thought feeling What do you feel below that LINDA Ummh I feel safe I feel pretty sa2. me She was angry that I was blaming her and that I refused to get on with my life She wanted me to quit placing so much emphasis on the events of the past and to simply start being the adult Wow After 30 minutes Bob cut off the session to allow me time to process what had just occurred That was a major turning point The next day I sent Bob the following e mail message After we hung up I had a lot of thoughts running through my mind I thought of my seven year old niece The day she was born she owned my heart I desperately loved her and silently vowed to do everything in my power to ensure that she would never experience the same events and inadequacies that I experienced Then I came to realize that I did not have the power to completely protect her Even my sister and brother in law did not have full power to protect their own daughter So I determined to do what God did give me the power to do to unconditionally love her no matter what happened 18 to be her advocate throughout life to encourage and to help teach her how to love God and other people Then I began to wonder why I am able to love my niece so deeply regardless of what happens to her If anything ever happened to her to make her feel inadequate I would just want to hold her tight until the pain went away Seems to me there should be no difference between my seven year old niece and myself as a child I see myself looking back 31 years at myself as
3. privacy and also if it was something that was still a valid behavior to keep today My conclusion was that as an adult I do not need to protect myself from others by holding myself back in the same way I did as a child I also have the ability to evaluate on a different basis what should be shared and what should be kept private The rules of my childhood are no longer valid THE FINAL SESSION Now on to the final session During this session Bob and I directly dealt with the anger I felt towards myself as a child The session was the most difficult of the three Bob had me go back and visit the little girl at age seven He asked me to imagine her being in the presence of God but initially I was unable to do so because I felt she did not deserve to be with him In fact I felt that God himself would not want her there with him I knew in my head how ridiculous my thoughts were but my emotions were filled with anger and contempt for the little girl Eventually Bob was able to find a way to get me to imagine the little 17 girl being in the presence of God but it remained unnatural and I despised her invading my relationship with God Then we shifted gears Now the focus was on how the little girl felt My comment to Bob was that she was madder than spitfire When Bob asked what or whom she was mad at the inadequacies and events of the past were mentioned but the real anger she was feeling was directed at the grown up
4. system By refusing to experience what was going on during those moments I was constantly giving them the power to fuel my speech blocks One of the great things about Neuro Semantics is that it is not necessary to discuss the specifics of a given situation Because our brain works more from structure than content the NS Practitioner usually needs very little content to assist the client in resolving the issue I never had to reveal much more than just the high level aspects of the issues But I did have to be prepared to deal with the thoughts in my mind That is not always easy However going back to John s Stuttering Hexagon the thoughts had to be effectively reframed in order to get all the points on the hexagon positively biased The surprise blocks probably would never have gone away without effectively dealing with all of the issues behind the anxiety and fear for the remainder of the session Bob utilized specific Neuro Semantic techniques to help bring about desensitization of the thoughts and beliefs I had developed from as early as five years old By the end of the session we had discovered that anger toward some of the events surrounding my childhood was very apparent what was even more significant was the anger I felt towards myself as a child In essence I blamed myself for my inadequacies and the things that went wrong in my youth The session came to an end and we set up another appointment for the follo
5. FROM STUTTERING TO STABILITY By Anonymous with Bob Bodenhamer When I was 19 years old I made the most meaningful decision of my life No I am not talking about marriage although that is very meaningful I am talking about the decision to become a Christian from that point on my perspective of life and the world did a 180 degree turn However becoming a Christian did not end my stuttering and the disappointment I felt over God s seeming lack of concern about my speech problem was no small matter through the years But I will revisit that issue a little further on Now you would think that most people who stutter would avoid professions that require a lot of speaking This is probably true however for some unknown reason 12 years ago I was drawn to a profession that not only required a lot of speaking but also a lot of public speaking In actuality it is due to the dynamics of my profession that set me on a relentless path to overcome stuttering PREVIOUS TREATMENT Before I go on to how I moved from stuttering to Stability I think it is noteworthy to mention that I have tried some of the more popular treatments for stuttering with minimal success After becoming very disenchanted and thousands of dollars poorer I began doing research on my own to see if I could discover the key to unlocking the mystery behind my stuttering You see I have always been bothered by the theories that stuttering is caused by a p
6. NEORO SEMANTICS Throughout his book John recommended several other books to read one of which was Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins Reading Anthony Robbins book was my first introduction to Neuro Linguistics Programming NLP Eventually this book led me to The User s Manual for the Brain which is a comprehensive manual covering the NLP Practitioner course and is written by Bob G Bodenhamer D Min and L Michael Hall Ph D cofounders of Neuro Semantics NS As I was reading the books on NLP I became very excited about the potential of these techniques in getting the Stuttering Hexagon to become positively biased as it related to my inability to speak fluently Practicing some of the techniques in Awaken the Giant Within proved to be mildly helpful But I remained hopeful that this could ultimately be the mechanism that would throw me into speech Stability I felt that if I could just work with someone trained in Neuro Linguistic Programming that they might be able to walk me through the techniques that would prove most effective in getting me past my stutter My opportunity presented itself when midway through The Users Manual for the Brain the authors gave a web site address for Neuro Semantics The next day I visited the site and discovered that they provided private consultations BINGO I e mail Bob Bodenhamer and requested a consultation with him When I received an e mail back from Bob indicati
7. a little girl and I am shouting Pack your bags and get out of my life The little girl is looking forward 31 years and shouting Grow up you re the adult The answer is not back here It dawned on me that she is right No matter how many times I replay the tapes of the past I won t discover the answer from a little girl The little girl did the best she could with the resources she had There are no answers in her mind She is too young So I shout back down to her again Hold on I m coming back there Now the little girl is smiling I being 38 years old and operating with a strong belief system begin to move back toward her When I reach her I welcome her in my arms and give her the same love that I would give to my niece I whisper to the little girl It was never about you Then I move forward and visit that little girl at each stage in her life where she felt inadequate and I repeat the same process So right now I feel better about that little girl I don t know what tomorrow will bring but today I not only look like an adult I also think like one My first phone conversation with Bob took place on January 18 2002 The immediate results were amazing My second phone conversation was January 23 2002 I have not experienced a speech block since that time My third phone conversation was on January 30 2002 I have not been angry at that little girl since In closing I would like to mentio
8. fe now BOB You are doing really great now That is good and it is going to get better Now just drop down through the feeling of being safe What or who is underneath that LINDA I feel contentment I feel alone but safe BOB Now just drop down through that feeling of contentment and safety What or whom do you feel below that LINDA Warmth Total acceptance I feel total acceptance There is no judgment here I see a yellow light BOB Great Is the light really bright LINDA Yes it is It is very bright BOB Yes I know it is very bright And who said He is the light of the world LINDA Jesus BOB That is right and He is there isn t He LINDA Yes it is God He is the Bright Light BOB Very good and just be right there with God in the presence of warmth and total acceptance Now what happens to the anxiety in the presence of God LINDA It is gone BOB What happens to the fear in the presence of God LINDA It is gone BOB What happens to the sense of wanting to go and hide in the presence of God LINDA It is gone BOB Yes they are all gone aren t they LINDA Yes they are BOB And in the presence of God what happens to stuttering LINDA It is gone BOB Yes and being there in the presence of God notice what you see hear and feel Put a word or a phrase to that state so that when you recall that word or phrase you will immediately go into the presence of God Anytime y
9. had buried their tentacles into the foundation of the stuttering They had nothing to do with stuttering per se but everything to do with the anxiety behind the stuttering The issues came up while Bob was trying to determine what specifically I was doing to trigger the speech block I had indicated that my biggest challenge was speaking in front of groups as opposed to one On one conversation We uncovered various emotions associated with speaking before groups such as feeling outnumbered out of control vulnerable and exposed But becoming fully conscience of those feelings caused only a minor amount of discomfort There were other deeper feelings that were not as easy to deal with As Bob worked with me to discover the other thoughts they eventually came screaming to my conscience mind My mind immediately began an internal war of to tell or not to tell After what seemed like a very inappropriate amount of hedging around in response to Bob s question I came to the conclusion that if I ever wanted to be 100 percent free of stuttering I was going to have to step out on a limb and be willing to deal with uncomfortable thoughts and feelings I knew I could skirt the issues hang up and continue having a certain level of problems in my speech or I could meet them head on and overcome the stuttering The issues although not the cause of my stuttering certainly played a part in creating and maintaining the stuttering
10. hysical defect in the speaking mechanism and or brain It made me feel disempowered like my only hope was to wait until they invented a magic pill that would cure stuttering It also did not take rocket science to figure out that my speech mechanisms were in good working order since even my most difficult words could be spoken fluently in certain situations And then there was that ever present anxiety that always preceded the stuttering mmm I wonder what would happen if there were no anxiety This is where the story gets really interesting One day several months ago I was surfing around on the National Stuttering Association s web site when I spotted the book How To Conquer Your fears of Speaking Before People by John C Harrison I ordered the book and when it arrived I immediately began devouring its contents The first part of the book talked about specific techniques that people who stutter could use to be an effective public speaker While this portion of the book was good it was the second portion that was like a breath of fresh air The second part reflected John s feelings about stuttering including the premise that if you are trying to solve a problem without making headway chances are that you are trying to solve the wrong problem He felt that many stuttering treatments are not inclusive enough to fully describe the full dynamics of what drives stuttering John went on to describe what he has termed the Stu
11. iety and phobia by forcing them together knowing full well that my beliefs would not allow the two to reside together Notation from Bob Bodenhamer In MLP NS we hold the belief that each person has the resources needed for his or her own healing We also believe in utilizing each individual s resources We do not judge the resources we simply use them In Linda s case her highest resource was her Christian faith I have learned over the years that a person s religious beliefs usually provide the most effective resources and that when they are applied to the problem state the person will experience the greatest healing However even if you do not hold any religious beliefs we believe you already have adequate resources to overcome any cognitively based problem you may have The reason every individual maintains high level beliefs values etc that make for excellent healing resources THE CONSULTATION Then came the phone consultation After a_ brief period of getting acquainted Bob zeroed in on the feeling of anxiety that is so familiar to me and to so many others who stutter He utilized a technique called The Drop Down Through Technique which has its foundation in the works of Alfred Korzybski in his classic work Science and Sanity This is a seminal work that outlines the ground rules for general semantics a discipline that shows how our thinking and life experiences are shaped by the way we use language
12. my conscious mind I was stunned trying to figure out where that came from It was an almost laughable statement to me because I have always enjoyed being surrounded by people But as quickly as the statement came to me I realized exactly what it meant The four questions from Cartesian Logic are most effective in critical thinking In the context of stuttering ask yourself 1 What will happen if I continue stuttering 2 What will happen if I stop stuttering 3 What will not happen if I continue stuttering 4 What will not happen if I do not stop stuttering Trust your unconscious mind to give you the answers Sometimes it is good to let someone else ask you these questions so you can concentrate on processing the answers Although people play a very important part in my life I had learned early in life to keep most of my deepest thoughts and feelings private Now I was remembering the many times people who have crossed my path had made comments on how private I was in sharing personal thoughts and feelings Stuttering was a way to keep people I loved in my 16 life but at a safe distance I was caught in a divided intention On one hand I wanted to speak to please my friends and family but on the other I wanted to hold back to please myself and feel safe This ultimately resulted in experiencing speech blocks from there I was able to go back and evaluate the reason why I felt I needed to maintain so much
13. n that for me Neuro Semantics was a very effective tool in getting the remaining points on the Hexagon in a positive mode Although I believe that Neuro Semantics can assist a great majority of people who stutter I equally believe that the quick results I received were due in part to the work I had been unknowingly doing through the years like attending self help seminars keeping journals researching homeopathic treatments and reading an endless amount of books All of these contributed in getting the points on the Hexagon positively biased I have learned that the roots of the problem may be different for each individual but the symptoms anxiety fear muscle tension in the vocal cords and stomach etc and the outcome stuttering and blocking appear to be the same Tf as suspected emotions such as fear and anxiety are critical components of the Stuttering Hexagon then Neuro Semantics provides some useful tools for 20 alleviating these unconscious negative emotions and effecting major changes within the entire Stuttering system REFERENCES Bodenhamer Bobby G and Hall L Michael 1997 Time lining patterns for adventuring in time Wales United Kingdom Anglo American Books Bodenhamer and Hall 1999 The User s Manual for the Brain Bancyfelin Carmarthen Wales Crown House Publishers Limited Hall L Michael 1995 2001 Meta states A domain of logical levels self reflexive consciousness in h
14. ng his willingness to work with me I was ecstatic He indicated that he had limited experience with four or five clients who stuttered but had obtained successful outcomes utilizing the skills of Neuro Linguistic Programming and Neuro Semantics Bob also felt that he stood a real chance of helping me over the phone which alleviated the necessity of my flying to North Carolina to meet with him We set up the first phone consultation for the following friday WHAT IS NEUORO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING Neuro Linguistic Programming is a model that helps you take charge of running your own brain by identifying disempowering thoughts values beliefs and perceptions and restructuring them to be more empowering Neuro Semantics works with the higher level thought processes It specifically involves our thoughts feelings about our thoughts emotions memories imaginations perceptions beliefs etc i e fearing the fear of stuttering Bob sums up one of the major concepts of NLP NS in his statement In NLP NS we hold the belief that each person has all the resources that they need in order to fix any cognitive thinking based problem they may have I don t know about you but that is music to my ears It is important to understand that Neuro Semantics utilizes the person s own resources to bring about change Everybody regardless of his or her station in life operates from a_ belief system We reference this belief
15. ou have a sense that you might stutter just go into the presence of God and you will get total control of the stuttering Bob utilized my beliefs by having me bring the negative thoughts into the presence of God which forced me to apply my faith and belief in an all powerful God where to me each of those thoughts can t possibly reside After we had completed this technique Bob had me remember the first time I felt the anxiety related to stuttering My first memory of feeling the anxiety was with my mom from my experience my mom was unhappy with my stuttering and as a child I could easily detect her dissatisfaction with my speaking ability Bob reframed this memory which effectively removed the impact of those past perceptions EARLY RESULTS How did this work in the following days after the 45 minute call with Bob Well I kept track The following Monday and Tuesday at work I had nine occasions where anxiety set in Eight of the nine times I used the technique Bob utilized during our consultation session and the words flowed as smooth as butter However one time I encountered a block that just came out of nowhere no warning just wham The progress was amazing but now I wanted to ensure that the surprise blocks would not happen any longer So I scheduled another session with Bob for the following Wednesday evening We spent an hour on the phone that evening working through some issues that I had no idea
16. system in determining our self esteem our personal limitations our viewpoint on the meaning of life how others view us what we can and cannot accomplish in life and every other judgment we make about ourselves others and the world we live in There are as many belief systems as there are people In assisting individuals to overcome _ cognitive problems Neuro Semantics first attempts to discover the person s unique belief system and then utilizes it to bring about change SETTING THE STAGE Let me tell you about the day I was handed the emotional tools to immediately control stuttering The first tool was actually given to me by Bob through an e mail he sent me on the day I requested a consultation with him He had already determined through a previous e mail that I held a strong Christian belief system and therefore he used that system to bring about a change in how I perceived things relating to stuttering He said I do believe that there is a great chance of taking care of this through phone consultations and e mail for what will happen when your fear anxiety and or phobia comes into the presence of God When I first read that e mail my initial response was shock Then laughter as I immediately envisioned a picture of three teeny tiny men called fear Anxiety and Phobia shrinking back and cowering in the awesome presence of God Bob had effectively used my belief in God to reframe my thoughts of fear anx
17. ttering Hexagon an interconnected system comprised of six points physical behaviors emotions perceptions beliefs intentions and physiological responses Every point is connected to every other point John explained that if a person who stutters has previously been working on one point of the Hexagon such as speech production but has not worked to change any of the other points such as emotions or beliefs those other parts will continue to have a negative affect on the system as a whole They will continue to throw the entire system off leaving the person vulnerable to stuttering So each point must be effectively dealt with He also contended that to make the stuttering disappear you can t focus on solving it you must focus on dissolving it In other words to remove the problem you must destroy its structure John s Stuttering Hexagon was the most accurate description of the mystery behind stuttering that I had read to date And the fact that after 25 or 30 years of stuttering he was able to defeat it himself gave me the final boost I needed to know that I too could overcome stuttering As excellent as John s book was however it was never intended to be a therapy program or provide techniques for becoming more fluent So at the end of the book I was left with the question How do I get all of the points on the Hexagon positively biased Little did I know that shortly I would discover the answer
18. uman states of consciousness Grand Jct CO Empowerment Technologies Bodenhamer and Hall 2001 Games for Mastering fear Grand Jct CO Neuro Semantics Publication Korzybski Alfred 1941 1994 Science and sanity An introduction to non Aristotelian systems and general semantics 4th Ed amp Sth Ed Lakeville CN International Non Aristotelian Harrison John C 1989 2002 How to Conquer Your fears of Speaking Before People Anaheim Hills California National Stuttering Association 21
19. wing week What is interesting is that after this session the speech blocks totally disappeared The issues had not been completely resolved but apparently enough had been dealt with to cause the blocking to disappear I still had many of the same familiar thoughts and occasionally I would get the physical sense that I would stutter or block but I never did In essence the physiological aspects were still present which Bob later explained was a result of the muscles still being neurologically programmed another point on the Stuttering Hexagon I am not sure but I would venture to say that the stuttering may have eventually returned if we had not taken the time to deal with the anger I felt toward myself as a child Before I move to the third and final session it would be good to mention that during the three weeks I had been having phone consultations with Bob I was also reading Games for Mastering fear also by Michael Hall and Bob Bodenhamer In my reading I came upon their discussion of Cartesian Logic This is a way to challenge a person s thinking and is composed of four questions the last being What wouldn t happen if you did not keep your phobia i e stuttering I answered the first three questions with relative ease but once I got to that final question I had a difficult time coming up with the answer until out of nowhere the statement It wouldn t keep people away from me came slamming into
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