FINALS WEEK (OR, THE UNEXPECTED FOLLY OF
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1. tissues STEVEN backing away Really sorry man no I don t Sorry about that whole thing uh gotta go Good luck on the final Steven heads off head down eyes wide open and anxiously left and right He s greeted by a frenetic Jake over at Jim s table looking who briefly peeps JAKE Steve I ve got the flashcards and you ve got the notes and stuff Test me like a 30 question quiz and then I ll test you And I think I have some coffee candy or something does 1 Jim need any STEVEN Yeah uh I dunno That uh the dropping of the bottle that wasn t an accident JAKE What STEVEN I made that happen yeah Motherfucker better not set that curve again JAKE O kay eyeing Steven Are you sleep deprived STEVEN No shit JAKE Let s get our stuff then Short nap and then we quiz each other Wait what s the time again STEVEN quickly pulling out phone Uhy 29302 As Jake and Steven get their stuff we move onto Claire who is flipping pages back and forth as if she is seeing something that does not make sense Claire looks at her slides she is browsing through Chapter 13 after which she is flipping pages in her textbook at that point around page 280 We pan back to the slides now she is at Chapter 16 and then again to the textbook now page2. STEVEN eyes Jim opening a 5 Hour Energy Hey Jim you wouldn t have another 5 Hour Energy in your backpack would you JIM far from taking Steven seriously Nah man this is my last one trying to stay awake Sorry STEVEN It s all good man How s it going JIM nonchalantly It s going good man we were don yesterday and we re just practicing You STEVEN hiding envy and disgust with smile That s nice We re about half done we re going to get it done pretty soon though eyes 5 Hour Energy on table JIM Oh Cool STEVEN puts on show of frustration don t know man it s just so strenuous JIM feel you man STEVEN begins waving arms a lot just have all these chapters man it s just getting to me so much you know not even a single break and Steven accidentally knocks down Jim s 5 Hour Energy and the bottle falls onto his notes and then onto his jeans Jim stares at Steven as if he just destroyed Jim s phone with a hammer STEVEN Sincere in his words but expressionless and uncaring Jim I m extremely sorry don t know It was a really stupid mistake man I m how to make it up JIM begrudgingly but immediately Oh no it s all good man I ll clean this up TLL just uh You got any
3. discussion section not the Brony Club meeting The professor had office hours too You are lame Steven Rolling around Steven promptly switches to Google Chrome and closes the MyUCLA Grades tab at which point the voice abruptly cuts STEVEN softly Gonna go to the restroom change my shorts to jammies though Claire passively nods Jake is confused Just feels more comfortable As Steven leaves we s Jake and Claire going through the flashcards like they re blackjack dealers Jake drops a card and as he picks it up we see two pajama covered legs enter the shot We go up to see him covered in a blanket STEVEN Kinda cold Jake nods and dives back into reviewing Steven is almost about to lie down until he magically sits upright and looks at his textbook STEVEN Music The theme from Birdman begins to play as he quickly shakes his head in disapproval As Mozart s Dies Iraebegins to play he smiles and flips through pages of his textbook with great speed with a grin on his face like he has just acquired a superpower As the composition ends he closes the book and puts his cheat sheets in his backpack He checks the five alarms he has set on his phone and goes to a sofa to lie down and we FADE TO BLACK STEVEN o S Shit His eyelids fling wide open as he checks his phone The time is 8 01 He runs to his
4. raising hand mumbling softly Uh xc excuse me He gets the attention of a TA who comes over TA What s the problem STEVEN Well first off this first question s kinda vague it just asks What did you learn TA I m sorry I cannot give any hint STEVEN flipping through the pages And the rest of this is blank We pull up to a befuddled TA TA looks down and sees printed pages No they re right there STEVEN shakes head and raises eyebrows to Pai get himself awake I m sorry my bad Thank you Steven looks down and begins writing really fast and keeps checking the time By 9AM he is already on the second to last page as he s frantically shaking his pen As he moves on to the last page he looks at the blackboard which says the time is 10 15 He is surprised mouthing What but resumes writing As he is done with the last line the TA arrives with a bundle of papers and he hands in his He walks outside with all of his belongings tired and exhausted There are students gathered around the outside of the hall as people are leaving RANDOM STUDENT 7 o s Yeah I think I got 5 wrong too JIM o s just got 4 wrong beat ral 4 n probably gonna fail RANDOM STUDENT 7 0 s Shut the fuck up man JAKE bumping into Steven Oh hey man how d you do
5. what s up CLAIRE need your flashcards for chapter 18 JAKE Yeah sure They re in my folder CLAIRE looking at Steven ing that can solve his probl JAK Yeah em CLA ry My roommate s big on all nighters ST EV EN drowsy So CLA G RE she s got some tablets of JAKE Adderall CLAIRE Adderall XR JAKE JAKE How did you get them CLAIRE We share a mini fridge JAKE confused mumbling Storing that in a mini fridge STEVEN You think it d be helpful CLAIRE Yeah JAKE Ask me if it keeps you awake STEVEN Does it keep me awake JAKE It lights you up like you re a pinball machine who ll pay in silver dollars You re gonna feel like a superhero like B RANDOM STUDENT 4 o s half asleep Could you keep it down JAKE Sorry STEVEN looking at Claire Alright JAKE yawns Hey while you re at it could I CLAIRE Yeah you too They sit down Claire pulls out two tablets and gives one to Steven He holds it and goes to a nearby water fountain to down the tablet He then returns to his seat and opens his laptop As he browses through the Powerpoint slides he has open THAT VOICE 0 s We should have gone to that
6. 370 She checks the time it is 3 30 and we see Jake and Steven return arguing STEVEN to Jake while sitting down and putting his face on the table I m so done I just want to sleep JAKE Come on Steven you can pull through this don t give this shit to me STEVEN can t I m tired I can t handle this all nighter it s not for me JAKE Shut up Just shut up for once Since we began this study session we ve become thorough with over 60 of the material We can t afford to lose time and we can t afford to binge on sleep This is about endurance and focus remember That s what you told me that s how you got me into this study session Jake storms to his seat Steven buries his face in his arms again STEVEN drowsy almost drunk Ah I can t handle this What time is LE JAKE ErS 4 00 STEVEN half asleep stands up and stretches No right behind you and found a miracle drug that will solve Jake I ve got someth need something any lon JAKE walks up to Steven can t stay awake ger Steven no one is going to come tell you they ve your problems and go Ooooh I m the genie and I ll grant your wishes Claire pops in behind the two CLAIRE can talk to you for a second JAKE Yeah
7. FINALS WEEK OR THE UNEXPECTED FOLLY OF ADDERALL written by Harsh Karthik Copyright c 2014 This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced without the express written permission of the author BLACK Ve hear a pencil scribbling and a CRACK SMASH CUT TO INT POWELL LIBRARY FIRST FLOOR NIGHT A pencil is clutched tightly in a hand that is on the verge of breaking it with the nib a good inch away having left a light jagged trail THAT VOICE 0 s How did we end up here We tilt up to discover the face of a tense bespectacled STEVEN MEEKS E 18 frantically reaching for his sharpener as his attention instead gravitates towards his open MyUCLA GPA page and as he zooms in onto his GPA THAT VOICE o s Do people her ver shower This place is awful Smells like balls He shuts the momentary distraction as he resumes his search for his sharpener which is misplaced and possibly buried under the sea of papers lying in front of him His hand is greeted by the speedy hand of JAKE RYAN 21 who reaches out to grab it to sharpen his own pencil Steven is visibly surprised and enraged by this and scrambles for it STEVEN Staring at Jake highly subdued but highly anxious Hey Jake I need that back JAKE o S speeds up sharpening One se
8. Steven is confused out of his mind almost in a drunken stupor STEVEN Yeah good CLAIRE Did you finish it STEVEN Yeah JAKE Son of a bitch you re probably setting the curve STEVEN trying to laugh Ha no way ha Steven then receives a text He first checks his alarms which he P finds out were accidentally set for the next day He then checks his text out and it says Hey wanna have a study session at like 1 for tomorrow s final lol Steven is exasperated He holds his cellphone on the spread out palm as the camera pans to the bushes where the phone is flung as if he telepathically did it And we CUT TO BLACK Claire laughs off screen CR ED TS
9. c man STEVEN Dude really GIRL OaS Guys we need to focus We move from Steve to discover the girl CLAIRE STANDISH 20 sitting next to Jake CLAIRE E We re almost halfway done with this We can t stall anymore STEVEN know but he Claire returns Steven s reply with a stern look Jake promptly returns the sharpener STEVEN m sorry Jake this final s really getting to me I ve been memorizing these formulas and terms for ten straight hours I m just trying so hard to maintain that 4 0 As the camera pans back we see three students crowding behind him like his fanbase RANDOM STUDENT arriving from the back You got 4 0 You got 4 0 RANDOM STUDENT 2 VOTE FOR USAC ELECTIONS T RANDOM STUDENT 3 Hi I m from the Daily Bruin how do you cope with having to maintain your 4 0 and what is your secret to success STEVEN I ve downed a good eight cups of coffee and I ve made two cheat sheets for the same fucking subject JAKE Hey man take it easy you ll STEVEN That s coming from you Jake your flashcard folder looks bigger than a user manual CLATRE Steven it s okay at 11AM we ll be done with this We ve tested each other with questions for half a day
10. desk grabs a pen and his Bruincard stuffs things into his backpack And in his t shirt pajamas and his blanket around him he runs out of Powell toward EXT POWELL MORNING Haines to get to his exam hall He rushes down Royce quad in his pajamas and blanket As several students spot him some ar xcited enough to pull out their smartphones to take a picture of Steven and his unique outfit RANDOM STUDENT 5 Hey do you mind if I could take a selfie with you STEVEN Look I m in a real hurry I RANDOM STUDENT 5 in a cutesy tone Please The student relentlessly walks beside Steven with a forced smile as she gets the selfie RANDOM STUDENT 5 long musical and drawn out emotionless Thank you RANDOM STUDENT 6 0o s That s a shitty Birdman reference STEVEN in a softer voice cynical Fuck you EXT HAINES MORNING Steven finally reaches He pushes the door open as if almost breaking through it removes his blanket and enters the hall He is greeted by at best two dozen students turning their heads out of almost 200 as well as the professor A brief burst of laughter quickly dies down as he walks half asleep forward to find a spot He settles down as a T A 28 gives him a paper He yawns widely then flips through the pages to see everything blank STEVEN
11. we re making progress JAKE Wait did you guys read the email the T A sent us ten hours ago CLAIRE Email STEVE TA JAKE Yeah it was something about chapter 18 CLAIRE haven t checked my email in a day Claire pulls out her laptop with Steven promptly opening his too STEVEN stops typing and fretting on laptop I m not in your T A section right JAKE Yeah I ll just give me a sec Jake pulls out his laptop and looks for the email STEVEN What was it about JAKE looking for email restlessly Chapter 12 Ah found it STEVEN mutters Ah fuck What What about chapter 12 JAKE Sent CLAIRE What STEVEN anxious What JAKE Check your email CLAIRE opens email Fuck me STEVEN prepared so much for this chapter holding up whole cheat sheet made thisfor it CLAIRE Faceit Steven it s no longer relevant JAKE Sorry about that guys beat Anyway we ve got to get back to this STEVEN yawns Coffee s gonna wear off pretty soon I ll ask Jim if he has another 5 Hour Energy That asshole is always stocked up Steven walks to another table Another student JIM 18 is sitting there He finds Jim laughing with another student
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