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1. by chants marches or civil disobedience 24 Daily I declare The City of God reading Augustine while taking a dump I sit on my throne this shitty abode my apartment s civitate hominum Let it out skim a chapter clean my bum This is the way that I make the world home perfect and tidy as cloacal Rome 25 I m ready to say Good Bye to All That soon as you are Drop the gun no one gets hurt we ll tend the rabbits and live off the fat fantastically fled from gay old New York Not that I don t enjoy bustle and work but maybe it s some kind of Case of the Mondays or a good old fashioned contemptus mundi 26 Porn eroticizes power dynamics like no other enshrines inequalities Maybe bukkake is a matter of ethics and fisting filled with ideologies and sex oppressive say the critics For me child of an angry God I just want to get some ass before I die 27 I like to call my boyfriend s ass his cunt boypussy or bitchhole Spread it whore I make him beg for daddy s dick my nut busting up his rectum and I pour into him my stuff till I roar to write my name with ink of come my pen a withered word without a home 28 The missionaries say I m a savage whose soul s in need of saving a heinous imperialist unearned white privilege making me definitionally racist and wanting to fuck makes me a sadist but I go to cultural studies to do penance post colonialism a life long sentence 29 Ins
2. THEBES THEBES stanzas by A W Strouse Thebes was originally presented at Brooklyn Wayfarers as part of a collaborative exhibition with Harry Cushing and Juliana Merz Funded in part through a grant from the City University of New York With thanks to Wayne Koestenbaum Published by Jerkpoet 2015 ISBN 978 1 942359 06 7 Jerkpoet com 1 I wouldn t want to eat the men of Thebes although I d gladly be an ancient Sphinx and thumb my tail at all the trim ephebes effete youths and na ve not hard to jinx They would like my posts click my broken links and when their browsers on my riddles be I d double click and clear their history 2 But what would make the better metaphor My penis is a pen that writes this poem or is it like a sheet of toilet paper which I can use to clean my dirty bum Is poetry shit or is it more like come Well how I do it you won t have to choose because I ll douche your ass out with my splooge 3 Doctor what does it say of my psyche that my handkerchief looks like inkblots I perceive that my mom doesn t love me in these crusts and these incestuous snots in these Rorschachs of globulous dots I would guess it s a sexual problem my nose hasn t been blown in months 4 Besides the things that normal people like I wish that I could learn a special fetish sucking toes and noses beating tykes only ever eating organic lettuce and saying everything like it s the Kaddish
3. al everyone still thinks you re pretty much an asshole 49 Maybe I m having a midlife crisis or just pre marital cold feet I just lament how I ve lost my vices quit smoking drinking cruising never eat meat wake early put down the seat You could say that I ve cleaned up my act but still didn t find whatever I lacked 50 To begin with try to play normal crazier now than ever was before OCD uptight neurotically formal can t loosen the anus leave the I s undotted or take a break without it becoming a chore I tick it off after we good night kiss and even poetry s on my to do list 51 Meanwhile I m horny as a schoolboy in heat erections every minute looking for ephebes with daddy issues a toy or two to play with ride till I finish push him off and repeat my sin it bugs me how I always feel such conflict tempted like Jackie was for Johnson 52 What I m trying to say is I m obsessive a horndog who wants to be a saint libido raging and sex juices excessive precum dripping off my big prick it aint gonna suck itself bitch but then the faint hint of guilt gets me soft in my desk chair I d get arrested if I didn t sit and write here 53 An intergalactic federation of many different species and planets loosely united into one space nation would face an even greater menace than discontents rebels and bandits It d be such a nuisance in a world that huge pretending to care when you re readi
4. and told I must grow up now Do it Stat A scene that frankly gets me half way hard and yet it panics me I don t know what all my life so far is driving at My Works Cited page wearies me and what s not listed bibliographically 35 My prepuce puckers like a sphincter Foreskin is man s labia so they say I m not sure how they re linked or what s more disturbing to me today with legs between legs of writing desk chair holding my bum in the same old way Rather than onanism I abuse my hand outsourcing Love to the tip of my pen 36 Sit on the floor with paste and scissors and tell myself It s a better thing I do than make the world a better place you buzzards and bastards of charity I know you with over grown conscience and peer review can t kill a flea unless it represents a fatal flaw or fruit of ancient sin 37 I don t think I can use a public toilet not to do what I m about to do Not that I m snobby but when you hurl it like I will you like a private spew not throwing up out in the public view but secret because believe me ya want to keep hidden your bulimia 38 I don t regret that I have killed your dog I do however wish that he weren t dead so I could do it over and not flog him this time pull his nails and claim his head but I d use other methods instead Well can t relive the past What s done s done Life s too short to ever judge anyone 39 Cathected to
5. but I have left perversity neglected and all my weirdness is affected 5 I guess it might be time for me to come seeing as how you keep on begging me to sign my autograph inside your bum but if you tell me once more naggingly I might not give it to you anally Whatever you want there s time to take it out and shut you up by writing in your mouth 6 Sometimes I think I might not have enough of anything but there s no way to tell with certain things like houses or with love the game is to buy low and then to sell to try to make a heaven out of hell You add some value then make the flip getting out before the market dip 7 If I would put my head inside the oven and come out leavened like a loaf of bread or baked warm like a buttered berry muffin or a chocolate Bundt cake for my head then I might feel quite happy being dead as long as they will serve me as they should with coffee whipped cream la mode 8 I too have read Walter Benjamin and caroused with that crowd of Frankfurt School types good for a laugh and drink they know what you mean when you question cartoons mass trends and hypes and turn a stern eye on the Hollywood lights I agree that they re cool with a biker gang aura but I d rather stay home and play Doctor with Dora 9 Putting together the new furniture has got me feeling suicidal It s not that I dislike this armoire but I m freaked out by the instruction manual I tak
6. e myself for a kind of Daniel a real reader of dreams not like this Ikea cartoon hairless tip toed his speech a balloon 10 Someday they will all tell lies about you first the closed casket afterward brisket coleslaw and compliments which no doubt you do deserve and why should anyone risk it to tell the whole tale of how you wished it had been different how you weren t really living Anyway at least you re happy now up in heaven 11 I might have thought his sphincter were a sphinx between his cheeks a gem set in the middle that rides and writhes until you pop its jinx a mythic tempter magic ruby it ll go on eating till you solve its riddle whose name s an enigma no one say can except the King who knows the answer Man 12 The garbage man throws garbage like a discus Caesar in his bathrobe grabs the news Chariot comes riding through the circus a bum with cart of cans to trade for booze and I sit waiting for my antique Muse She sits and sips her morning Earl Grey tea yawns and stirs the sugar contemptuously 13 I wish that I could go from rags to riches but I can t find a market for my rags They say that I ve grown too big for my britches but it s all flab butt fat and belly sags loaded down with drooping fleshy bags But if you re selling love then I would buy it no heart s too broke that I won t try it 14 We re lucky that our screwing ends in climax or else I don t k
7. g 44 The doctor asks me to pull down my pants so he can prod my anus for a bit on the bed like a prie dieu mouthing chants I pray the good Lord NOT CANCER while he spits lube out the bottle and then he splits me with his finger and engages my farts and kindly reassures me it s only warts 45 The hardest working girl in showbiz doesn t have to work that hard at all She gets up and she fixes breakfast looks at Page Six pics of last night s ball and then heads out to do a casting call and then comes home and sits beside the phone files her nails and takes her methadone 46 I wouldn t say that I m a feminist because I love my grandma s roasts too much And I m certainly not an anarchist because I like schools and hospitals and such Maybe you ll argue that I m out of touch but I don t think I can join the revolution until I redeem my Privilege coupon 47 It s like a skinny woman bitching that she s fat we inbred academics in our covens People of Color feminists and fags all of us on about something or Other like we just broke up with some cheating lover For me I still love Western Civilization Sure he beats me But I m very patient 48 Sometimes even when you re right you re wrong This is about fifty percent of the time A good example is how you think Hong Kong is both a country and a city A patronym China or UK Either way it doesn t rhyme and even when your opinions are factu
8. low the plot and you ll have won the game 19 Some days our stars the Kankedorts don t come and then we all just sit around on set until someone sends the Best Boy to their home a scruffy old mansion of Elvis velvet bought with bad dreams and credit card debt They re all just sitting there a real sight to see reality stars all watching themselves on T V 20 These days the old clich s have lost their shock shit and incest for example Nazis and the same old word salad and melting clock Now it s not enough to josh the bourgeoisie with elephant dung controversy So slake your weirdness from the Normal Stream drink deep the Lethe that is my mundane dream 21 Well I taped over the kids recital vid Honey I m sorry I know you had saved it from destruction kept it hid in the T V stand where your dad before he died left all those bad fuses and empty Liebfraumilch bottles I just didn t want to miss Next Top Models 22 Today is the day we go to Ikea from sleepy Manhattan on the ferry lovely city view I think I see a hummingbird in haze but don t tarry to gaze here we cross the river carried to the promised Elysian future of waiting discount Bauhaus paramour 23 The only things in life worth protesting are love and death natural processes whose opposition warrants noticing by nobody anyway It s not the Boss s biz to interfere here change what was and is and will be He doesn t get swayed
9. ng the news 54 Grandma said that it was for tradition that we would have to have an open casket She s right You have to make provision for the souls of the dead take grief and mask it with ritual formaldehyde and brisket We have to keep on going through the motions or else we d drown in our raging emotions 55 Or maybe it s just that grandma s a bitch telling us what to do Mrs Know It All bossing us around like an old witch who s been funeral planning since before the Fall She has got a lot of gall acting like this is all in good fun and how should she know Not like she s ever lost anyone 56 How can you say that about your dear sweet grandma she s always been so good to you hugging you and giving you Christmas treats She just thought it d be a nice thing to do keeping the peace with a prayer or two an old time ceremony and luncheon even with vegan options for your weirdo cousin 57 Foreskin is the penis s Mary Mother or like Jesus wrapped in His swaddling it is in technical terms the Other to the dick s own Self soul made bodily like an Incarnation for baby s fondling sin s sign the flesh we all are heir to which you re welcome to pray to if you dare to 58 I can see what you re saying Saint Augustine about worldly prosperity being vanity but to some it might sound kind of mean like Bill O Reilly or Sean Hannity who ve no regard for our basic humanity Just be careful i
10. now how we d know we re done Perhaps a timer set before we have sex alerting with its beeps that you ve had fun like Times Square ticker tape when wars are won Of course your partner could just tell you Dear enough But how to end my sessions of self love 15 If I could write my whole life down on post its those neon yellow little sticky squares I d post them on the sites that score the most hits on other people s backs and derrieres that way they d have to carry all my cares relieve me of my problems with these packets pressed to strangers shirts and pretty jackets 16 I could never love a man in sweatpants nor for that matter wear them myself If that s how you roll then sorry fat chance Mister Fat Ass your bad taste and bad health can t be countered by whatever love or wealth because it d remind me too much of my ex so next time I m marrying a man in spandex 17 It s as far as my success is away the broken down double wide from which I hail fagged out and ruined I errant prodigal small town boy done good American magical Can t go home yet while still in between average and middle class in a world of extreme 18 I only have five seconds and two minutes to diffuse this bomb or it will kill us all don t know which wire to cut what connects with what or which or how to make the call that saves the world and has me get the girl fortunately the code is always the same fol
11. power Well maybe a little I don t mind watching these intern squirts flay themselves alive on the Xerox griddle scanning themselves blind but it actually hurts me too in a way like I m Mr Kurtz just a misunderstood explorer lost in bureaucracy s horror 40 I d like to line up every man I know all of them mine in a bitch boy collection bend them over have them drop trou their assholes spread for my caring inspection and then probe each one with my seething erection And after I bust in every single butt I would join the line and all would in me nut 41 Life s too short and so is every dick if you re to believe what certain people say size queens who pine for a girthy fix not satisfied living from day to day but before sleep each night they pray Oh God Please give me more Please more But me I ll go when I m called I m no whore 42 I can t believe that I am such a fag that I enjoy so much the spicy smell of my own miracle my hair bag upon which lies my tender slug not small but blind like a squinting cartoon mole Poor creature upon which my manhood depends rodent of the evening s shadow lands 43 Go off wondering because to err is human Heard there s truth so I will seek it plugging into the sacred numen where ambrosial syrup pours like a secret onto my French Toast to complete the circuit Mixed berries and cinnamon topping my breakfast psalm with agape of agave frostin
12. s all that I m saying and double check to Which God you are praying A W Strouse lives in New York City with his boyfriend Evan and their cat Cookie
13. tead I sit and count upon my fingers masturbating or being a mystic I feel the void within the void It lingers towards the Second Coming Make no mistake there is a pause when I ejaculate between each jet of jizz a certain climax within the climax which Divinity hijacks 30 In English literature he s the master the foremost maker of pretty letters my lord and master Geoffrey Chaucer who is of verse the only and only father You may have that title little Jeffy but let us both be clear that I m your daddy 31 The Oedipal Blackmail of Race Relations is holding our poor president hostage He can t be our dad because black men are sons like my block s old dudes who despite my age always call me sir an infantilizing exchange that keeps them from being very good fathers and keeps Obama from spanking the Boehners 32 My taste is none too sophisticated I prefer Sigmund Freud to Jacques Lacan and my feminist leanings are dated at first or second wave not complicated but get the job done Other likes include tans runny eggs sunny days getting blown and any one or thing the color brown 33 I see mating seals in Central Park Zoo and a hunk of Berlin Wall by MoMA Mister Historicity is making the rounds marking the 80s with Kaposi s Sarcoma the domus doomed now freed in DOMA but stored up on his three and a half inch floppy disk to keep it crisp 34 That dream again at gunpoint got me held

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