ATTENTION MAIL ORDER CUSTOMERS:
Contents
1. FNORD USER S MANUAL ATTENTION MAIL ORDER CUSTOMERS Every effort has been made to assure your Fnord is a proper fit the first try However without a hands on fitting by a certified Fnordtician it may be necessary to try more than one garment THIS IS NOT UNUSUAL Occasionally multiple fittings may be required If it happens that your Fnord is not the proper size just call our office Monday through Friday 10 AM 5 PM at 1 800 634 2590 and ask for the fitting department Our experienced fitters will be able to assist you in determining the proper size from the information you give as to how the first garment was not satisfactory Please do not become discouraged or send Fnords back before calling out fitting department REMEMBER up to now how long have you waited for a Fnord that REALLY FITS WEARING YOUR FNORD To insure a perfect fit each time you wear your Fnord please follow these instructions Unlock super energy reverse polarizer at shoulder strap clasps Extend straps to longest length Put Fnord on and fasten in back or fasten in front and turn around Be sure to fasten in second row of hooks This should be a very snug fit Lean forward and let the Fnord warm up to operating temperature Still leaning foreword shake your breast tissue until it is completely in the Fnord cups Please allow a little room in Fnord cup for the firming you may experience within the next two weeks Tighten the straps while you a2. re still leaning foreword to insure that the breast tissue stays in the Fnord cup Gentlemen your fitting is easy Simply stuff the Fnord cups with socks until firm WASHING INSTRUCTIONS Washing in warm water is recommended You may machine wash on gentle cycle DO NOT BLEACH Air dry Do not place in a dryer or in the hot sun for drying WARRANTY A warranty card is located on the Fnord packaging Complete the postage paid card and return it to our home office and become a registered warranty costumer Your Fnord will then be guaranteed for workmanship and defects for six full months In addition you will receive your discount coupon worth 2 00 towards your next purchase You should be completely satisfied with your Fnord If not remember our Fnordticians are only a phone call away 1 800 634 2590 FNORDINGLY YOURS GE Lf Py Pope Rev St Syn KSC Omni Benevolent Polyfather of Obscenity in Titanium Uber Sub Agent ELF Purple Ops Division High Insect Necromancer of the Synaptyclypse Generator Sect Episkopos Battlepope General in Chief Super Mecha Fashion Consultant of Fnord Inc K Kopyleft All Rights Reversed For more information go to our website at www 23ae com Hail Eris
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