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SURVIORS HANDBOOK (pdf file)

1. 906 222 0828 SUPPORT GROUPS For all women who are or have been in an abusive relationship All groups are free and confidential For further information call Harbor House at 226 6611 68 Harbor House Affirmation I celebrate my courage in coming here I was alone but now I am not alone I was victimized but I am no longer a victim I name the violence in my life and declare it wrong I name that I need help and that I am willing to give help Nothing I do provokes the violence Nothing about me causes the violence Nothing gives one person the right to abuse another person Abusers can change themselves but I cannot change them Nothing I can do will change my past Everything I do changes my future I have protected myself and my children Resistance to violence defending myself OR my children is not abuse I believe myself I believe my sisters I can ask support I can give support I can change myself I can change the world My being here helps others I am not here to judge my sisters but to support their healing I will take the risk to trust other women here I affirm the privacy and confidentiality of every woman in this group Every time a sister resists she creates a space for resistance around her I am here in solidarity with my sisters of all persuasions all colors all orientations and all faiths to say NO to violence We will not be divided by our diversity we will
2. What about couples counseling Assailants often say that their partners are the crazy ones and need counseling Survivors may think that they can save their marriage through couples counseling They hope that contact with a therapist will help their partner realize he s violent and that he ll stop abusing them When there is violence in a relationship couples or marital counseling does not work Couples counseling assumes that the primary problem is the relationship or communication and that both people are responsible for making the changes necessary to make the relationship better This will not end the violence it increases the danger No matter what issues or problems there may be in a relationship battering is one individual s problem the one who is using the violence Usually the survivor is afraid to say what is really going on because the assailant may punish her for doing so The assailant usually uses the therapy as another means of keeping control over her Isn t divorce against God s Law If divorce is forbidden in your religion you might want to consider an order for separate maintenance Consult your religious leader for your house of worship s position about a marriage with violence in it Often the church believes that if one person is violent and abusive then they have broken the marriage vow and that God does not want you to be hit or hurt 10 A lot of battered women have strong spiritual belie
3. if you don t know the answer to a particular question It s fine to say I 47 don t understand the guestion or Could you repeat that guestion If the assailant s attorney asks you something insulting or nasty pause before you answer and look at your attorney or the prosecutor giving them time to object If there is an objection and the judge agrees you may not have to answer the guestion Sometimes your assailant s attorney will try to twist what you said or assign interpretations to it For example You were furious at him weren t you or You wanted him to get in trouble and that s why you called the police right Feel free to say That s not what I meant or That s not what I said The assailant s attorney may deliberately try to make you angry If you can try not to show it If the assailant s attorney gets mad and you don t you will come across as the reasonable one Good luck and may justice prevail SECTION VI THE POLICE RESPONSE A When can the police arrest an assailant without a warrant 4 1 felony or misdemeanor committed in the officer s presence 2 felony based on probable cause 3 misdemeanor domestic assault or aggravated domestic assault x when there is probable cause to believe an assault took place and a domestic relationship exists even if the officer did not witness the assault MCLA 764 15a 4 violation of a personal protection order wh
4. Our shelter is called Harbor House where battered women can come by themselves or with their children and find physical safety At Harbor House you will get the chance to meet and talk with other battered women and share support Your children regardless of age or gender are welcome to come with you There are support and educational groups You will be assigned a Counselor Advocate who will help you get legal and financial help There is always someone to talk to The survivors who reviewed this book asked us to emphasize that Harbor House is a wonderful place They were concerned that survivors reading this booklet would be frightened of the unknown or scared to come to Harbor House They wanted you to know that you would be welcome and safe 14 Pets Assailants often threaten pets or hurt them If you are afraid to leave because your pet may be injured please call us we can help We have a special program for sheltering and rescuing pets On Call Teams If you live in Marquette or Alger County and your assailant has been arrested you should get a visit from the Women s Center On Call Teams If you are seen in an area hospital the on call teams may also come to see you One or two women will come to your house They have been contacted by the police but are not police officers They are trained counselors and have come to give you information and assistance You do not have to talk to them if you don t want to They will t
5. Before you get on the stand take several deep breaths and center yourself Dress conservatively and comfortably Avoid party or sports clothes and extremes of dress or makeup Dress the way you would to apply for a job or go to a funeral Take some time before going to court to think about and accurately recall the events that you will be talking about on the stand Refresh your own memory If you have a copy of the police report reread that The most important thing is to tell the truth as best you can remember it Avoid talking to or looking at the assailant You may be directed by the judge to identify the assailant by where he is sitting and what he is wearing Aside from that the courtroom is typically set up so if you look straight ahead or at the judge or jury you will not see him When you testify look at the jury If there is no jury look at the judge If one juror looks skeptical or bored find one that looks interested and look at him or her If the attorney for the assailant complains look at the judge for direction If the judge tells you to look at the attorney for the assailant look just over his head Sometimes your assailant s attorney will ask you several questions at once For example When did the police arrive and what did they do when they got there Answer the first one Don t try to answer them all Take a deep breath and think for a second before answering questions It is okay to say I don t know
6. and advocacy and information at Harbor House Whether you re not ready to leave have left or just want someone to talk to you can get counseling for you and your children It s short or long term All of our counseling whether it happens at the shelter in support groups individually or through the on call teams is confidential We will tell no one you are in counseling or what happens in that counseling There are only two exceptions 1 when we suspect a child has been abused we must report that abuse to Children s Protective Services and or 2 when there is imminent danger of homicide or suicide Support Groups Many battered women say that the most helpful thing they ve done is meeting other survivors and talking about common problems When you come to a support group you don t have to talk You can just listen There are women who are in all stages of the process women who are still with their assailants women who are deciding whether or not to leave women who are in the process of leaving and women who are long gone Lots of women think that they were not beat up badly enough to go to a support group But in our support groups there are women who were just pushed and shoved and women who have been hospitalized Call the crisis line to find out about current groups 16 SECTION X 4 SAFETY PLANNING Safety Planning When You re Still Living 4 With Your Assailant Or When You Are Leaving Here ar
7. are frustrated with taking care of them This is not true Assailants batter in order to control their partners 32 Helping professionals may think that people with disabilities are sexless and may have trouble perceiving your relationship with your assailant as legitimate You may want to get additional assistance if you have a physical disability We recommend you contact SAIL at 228 5744 The Women s Center is trying to be as accessible as possible to those with physical disabilities We can and will shelter you and your personal care attendant if the p c a is not the assailant Shelter and counseling services are accessible by wheelchair SECTION XVII IF YOU ARE A SURVIVOR AND AN ELDER Survivors who are older adults may face some additional 4 obstacles or challenges Most people assume that elder abuse only means adult children hurting or exploiting their parents so g if you re being battered by an older partner it may be ignored ag Some may think that old men are not physically strong enough to batter or rape so you couldn t be being abused You may have special concerns about losing your home or income from social security or health insurance if you were to leave your assailant Shelters which tend to be noisy and chaotic may appear particularly unwelcoming You might be concerned about losing your independence or being institutionalized If you are in poor health or experiencing problems with a disabil
8. available for this number This section was written by Erin House SAFETY USING A FAX MACHINE When you receive a fax it usually has the telephone number of the fax machine used to send the fax It also has the day and time So if you send your assailant a fax it will let him know the general area where you sent the fax from and when and where 22 USING YOUR COMPUTER SAFELY AND PRIVATELY Change your password often and don t tell anyone what it is Set up a program that you need a password even to get ON your computer and change it often Don t use anything the assailant would guess When you use a computer on the Internet it records a lot of information about what you have been doing This is meant to make it easy for you to go back to places you have been on the Web or to recall what someone said in a Chat room Unfortunately others can look at this information too if they have physical access to your machine So you need to know how to clean up after your software and keep information that could put you at risk in your own hands alone If you don t feel comfortable with this task consider going to an Internet cafe or library to access the Net instead Web Browsers When you use a browser like Internet Explorer or Netscape it records the URLs of the sites you visit and information about those sites in several places For some things like cookies it s best to prevent the browser from storing them For other thing
9. custody 4 hearing or it s a criminal trial where you re a witness going to court is hard We hope these thoughts will make it easier for you Lots of time people put the focus on the survivor for winning in court if only she did this if only she didn t do that In fact you don t have a lot of control over what happens in court although you can make a difference Some women do find testifying a positive and empowering experience Do the best you can and take care of yourself in what are very difficult circumstances Parking is sometimes difficult particularly if you are in Marquette Get a map to the courthouse and know where the parking is and leave enough time to park Don t forget change if you re going to be in a metered lot If you can do a trial run by driving by Inevitably you will be waiting often for hours Sometimes you will wait and the case will be adjourned Bring a book or headphones as long as they are quiet or a book on tape or sewing or something to do while you wait In a civil case you might be representing yourself Often you will have an attorney In a criminal case you are a witness In a criminal case the assailant has a defense attorney The prosecutor however is not your attorney The prosecutor is conducting the case on behalf of the government He she may still be very helpful but it s a different kind of relationship Ask your attorney or an advocate to go over for you what is going to happ
10. i e that the assailant received a copy of the order If you need help with service please call us at Harbor House NULLIFYING A PPO You cannot invalidate or nullify a personal protection order by violating it Le by inviting the assailant over The personal protection order is a court order restraining the assailant not you from certain behaviors However too many police are confused about this issue and may not arrest if they believe you invited the assailant into your house MODIFYING OR CANCELLING THE ORDER If you decide that you want to modify the personal protection order or cancel it you will need to petition the court The judge will ask you if you are being pressured or intimidated into modifying or canceling the order POLICE ENFORCEMENT OF THE ORDER POTENTIAL PENALTIES If there is service police may arrest without a warrant when there is probable cause to believe an assailant has violated the personal protection order and they can easily find the assailant If the police make an arrest a hearing is held If the police do not arrest you must request a hearing and seek to hold the assailant in contempt of court by contacting the court and filing a petition for 60 a show cause hearing If the assailant is found by the judge to have violated the order of the court the assailant could be sentenced to up to 93 days in jail and may receive a 500 fine or both RELATIONSHIP NECESSARY FOR A DOM
11. is the default If the list disappearing would be a problem you can also just open and close files until they push the hazardous names off the end of the list Deleting Files When you delete a file on Windows 95 or 98 or the Mac you may think it is gone But it s not It s merely in the Trash or Recycle Bin and can be hauled out any time up until you empty the trash Even then someone with computer knowledge can use tools that resurrect the deleted file much of the time It s really best to use floppy disks whenever you can so that you can physically put the disk with the files someplace safe In Windows 95 and 98 you will also see references to the documents you create under the Start button Documents You can clear the whole list by right clicking on a blank part of the Taskbar and choosing Properties Pick the Start Menu Programs tab and click on the Clear button under the Documents menu Note that this does not remove the document itself just the mention of it in the Documents list If you want to minimize suspicion by leaving the list but just removing one or more particular documents you can do that using Windows Explorer Go to your Windows directory and open the Recent folder in it You will see a shortcut for each entry on the Documents list Right click on each one you want to get rid of and select Delete from the pop up menu Then go empty the Recycle Bin to finish the job Thanks to t
12. may involve getting a saliva sample cleaning under your fingernails combing your pubic hair for evidence taking your underwear photographing any cuts or bruises and conducting a pelvic exam The police may come and take a report from you In two or three weeks you may need a test for pregnancy if you were raped vaginally by a penis and tests for sexually transmitted diseases In six months you should be tested for HIV 36 SECTION XXI IF YOU ARE A BATTERED IMMIGRANT WOMAN If you are a battered immigrant woman you may have special 4 concerns or issues with which you need help First some people in the United States may think that battering j and abuse is normal in your culture and therefore may not make vigorous attempts to stop the violence or help you In fact battering abuse occurs in ALL cultures and it is ALWAYS wrong Second if you call Harbor House at 226 6611 in Marquette County or 1 800 455 6611 in Alger County please state the name of the language you speak in English We will then make every possible effort to get a translator on the line as soon as possible If your immigration status depends on your husband who is abusive you will need special assistance Don t believe anything your abuser says about the INS or laws in the United States Assailants often lie and particularly in this arena because it s so confusing Assailants can and will use threats of deportation to keep you under control As pa
13. of address card with the U S Postal Service Use it for all mail packages and magazines Get an unpublished and unlisted telephone number Order line blocking for your telephone number If you have a personal protection order keep a copy with you at all times If you live where there s security or a manager give them a picture of your assailant and a copy of the PPO Give a picture a copy of the PPO and any custody documents to your child s school as well Try to live in an apartment complex with an outside door to each building that is locked Ask your neighbors not to buzz someone in If you can keep your car in a garage to avoid the assailant messing with it Document all contacts by the assailant Save letters and cards tape voice mail messages and phone calls Make copies of emails Keep a journal of all strange occurrences If your assailant must get something from your home or you need to get 19 something from his call Harbor House We can reguest that the police do a civil standby so that you can be safe e Have your name removed from reverse directories The entries in these directories are in numerical order by phone number or by address These books allow anyone who has just one piece of information such as a phone number to find where you live Be careful who you tell where you are Unfortunately assailants usually find their victims through family members Your sister may tell his sister
14. or killed by the police If you know that this is a real possibility it makes it harder for you to make the decision to call the police He may suggest that you are selling out to the white man by seeking help from outside your own community He may ridicule you by saying that you re going to a bunch of white women for help He may tell you that because of racism you should do what he tells you so that he can feel like a real man If you don t speak English or if English is not your first language or you are from another country you may face more barriers to help You may be concerned about encountering racism from staff volunteers or white battered women All staff and volunteers of the Women s Center have training on racism and are given information about the special issues that women of color face in battering relationships If you feel that the counselor you are talking to is not as sensitive as you would like ask to talk to a supervisor There are counselors who are women of color at our shelter When you request non residential counseling you can request a counselor who is a woman of color We will do our best to see that you get one As in any place in our society women of color sometimes get treated in a racist way by white women using our program Our experience has been that in general women of color and white women have supported each other when they have been using our services and that the commonalties of being
15. requiring that a party post a bond to assure compliance with the visitation order and any other reasonable conditions determined to be appropriate in the particular case Supervised visitation might be ordered if it is shown through police reports hospital records Harbor House testimony that your life is in danger or the children are in danger The Friend of the Court might recommend third party visitation at another location They are more likely to recommend third party or supervised visitations if there is evidence that the father has abused or neglected the children E CRIME VICTIMS COMPENSATION Victims of crime who suffer personal physical injury may be eligible for compensation from the Crime Victims Compensation Board Assistance may include compensation for certain kinds of out of pocket losses loss of earnings and or loss of support You can get a claim form from the Prosecuting Attorney s office or from Harbor House You must file within a year of the crime The crime must be reported to the police within 48 hours unless the Board finds that there was good cause for the delay To recover an out of pocket loss you must show a loss of at least 200 in medical expenses A person requesting compensation cannot be criminally responsible for the crime and cannot be an accomplice You must be willing to cooperate with law enforcement agencies in the investigation of the crime and with the courts in the prosecution You cannot reco
16. that you should be able to protect yourself because you re a man If you practice anal sex you may be at higher risk for contracting HIV There also may be more danger 31 if your partner refuses to practice safe sex rapes you or causes cuts or abrasions If you are HIV positive your partner may threaten to tell people You may have heard the myth that shelters don t help or accept men and may not see a domestic violence agency as a potential source for help You may be particularly concerned about confidentiality because of how small the lesbian and gay male community is All information given to any employee or volunteer of the Women s Center is confidential However you may want to use a different name You might also want to get counseling or support in a different county You may be concerned about encountering homophobia from staff volunteers or straight survivors All staff and volunteers of the Women s Center have training on homophobia and are given information about the special issues lesbians and gay men face in battering relationships If you feel that the counselor you re talking to is not as sensitive as you would like ask to talk to a supervisor When you request non residential counseling you can request a lesbian counselor We will do our best to see that you get one Our experience has been that lesbian and gay male survivors are usually treated sympathetically by heterosexual survivors in our programs The comm
17. the brain or a closed head injury If you are pregnant and he has beaten you in your abdomen or back tell the doctor Many batterers injure unborn children If you ve been beaten in the belly if you start to feel faint or you notice bruising on your back or large bruises on your stomach you could also have wounds to your internal organs which could be life threatening If he s limiting your access to medication try to see a doctor and ask for free samples Most pharmaceutical companies have policies to provide low cost or free drugs to folks who cannot afford them so if you have a chronic condition and are worried that you won t be able to pay for meds this might be an option If your insurance is in your husband s name be careful that it is not billed for medical care if you don t want him to know about it SECTION IX GETTING HELP Services of the Women s Center y What is Women s Center It s a private non profit organization in Marguette and Alger az Counties dedicated to ending domestic violence We offer a lot of different services Crisis Line We have a 24 hour crisis line It is 226 6611 Marquette County or 1 800 455 6611 in Alger County It s answered 365 days a year by trained counselors If you just want to talk if you need counseling if you want information or a referral call us You don t have to give your name if you don t want to To get any of the services listed here call that number Shelter
18. they do they will be able to stop the violence Unfortunately batterers make a choice to assault because they want their partners to do as they say If you change your behavior he will still hit you I feel like he makes up rules and punishes me for breaking them Am I crazy No Batterers do indeed make rules in relationships and then punish their partners for breaking them Usual rules are You cannot leave the relationship unless am through with you You may not tell anyone about my violence or coercive controls am entitled to your obedience service affection loyalty fidelity and undivided attention You must prove to me that you are on my side get to decide which of the other rules are critical These rules were first articulated by survivor Barbara Hart who has given permission for their reprint here 11 Am I codependent If I get therapy will he change If you get therapy it will not change his behavior Some women have been helped by thinking of themselves as codependent They have learned through this label that they are valuable people that they should take care of themselves and that they cannot change or be responsible for other people These things are true and very helpful However other women have been told they are codependent and are somehow enabling or participating or colluding in his sickness This is not true about battering What you do or say or think whatever ways you
19. will be available to your assailant unless the court orders otherwise the address and telephone number of the probation office which is preparing the pre sentence investigation report the time and place of the sentencing your right to make a statement at the defendant s sentencing 54 G APPEAL After he is convicted the assailant has the right to appeal to the Michigan Court of Appeals Upon your reguest the Prosecutor will notify you of the following notice that the assailant has filed an appeal a brief explanation in plain English of the appeal process whether the assailant is out on bail the time and place of any appeal court proceedings the result of the appeal SECTION X CIVIL REMEDIES A DIVORCE y You have to be living in Michigan for six months before you can file for divorce and you must be living in the County you are J filing in for ten days You don t have to be living apart from your J spouse to file If you are married and have children with your spouse you must file first for divorce before you can file for custody B NO FAULT You don t have to prove adultery or cruelty to get a divorce in Michigan You only have to show that your marriage has broken down MCLA 552 6 MSA 25 86 You can get a divorce if your husband doesn t want one The judge can look at fault when deciding how the property will be divided and whether a spouse is entitled to alimony The spouse who files first is called t
20. you shelter transport you to medical care talk to you about alcohol and other drugs discuss sexual assault make referrals tell you what your rights are and what to expect from the legal system We are available to help and accompany you throughout the court process A Legal Advocate will call you following our visit to see how you are doing and to offer you support throughout the progression of the court case The jail should try to contact you when your assailant is released from jail They should also contact Harbor House and we will try to contact you You may want to call the jail and make sure that they have the best number to reach you at when your assailant is released Your assailant will usually be released between 10 a m and 6 00 p m You can also call the jail to find out where and at what time your assailant will be arraigned The jail can also give you a better idea about what time you should call back to find out if your assailant is being released if there is a money bond that is keeping him in jail and if the judge issued any conditions of bond which may prohibit your assailant from contacting you or coming home The jail s phone number is 906 225 8345 The police officers will sign the complaint based on information and belief You do not have to sign the complaint Once the police have made an arrest for 50 domestic assault the decision to press charges is made by the Prosecutor Your assailant may ask or te
21. 4 This word is used by the legal system to indicate that there has not yet been a conviction You may hear the alleged assailant or even the alleged victim Complainant The person who files a suit or makes a complaint or presses charges If you have filed for divorce you are the complainant In a police report the victim of domestic violence is often called the complainant Defendant This is the person who is charged with a crime or the person against whom a suit is filed If your assailant is arrested he becomes the defendant Defense attorney This is a lawyer who represents the defendant in a criminal case If the suspect has no money for an attorney the court may appoint an attorney L E LN These are the initials for the Law Enforcement Information Network All police officers have access to the L E I N computer network which has a record of active warrants for peoples arrest valid Personal Protection Orders PPOs and conditional bonds If you have a Personal Protection Order or if as part of criminal charges against your assailant a judge has ordered your assailant to not contact you not return to your residence not drink not threaten you etc all of these conditions should come up on the L E I N computer when the police run your assailant s name and will allow them to arrest him for violating the orders or for having a warrant Magistrate A magistrate functions like a judge but in a restricte
22. 855 Marquette County Prosecutor s Office 906 225 8315 234 West Baraga Street Marquette MI 49855 Marquette County Sheriff s Department 906 225 8435 236 W Baraga Street Marquette MI 49855 Michigan State Police 906 475 9922 U S 41 West Negaunee MI 49866 Northern Michigan University Attn Public Safety 22 03 4 EIE gk Gus We ea dn Gk eee 906 227 2151 1401 Presque Isle Avenue Marquette MI 49855 Negaunee City Police Department 906 475 4154 100 Silver Street Negaunee MI 49866 67 Republic Township Police Department 906 376 8800 118 West Kloman Avenue Republic MI 49879 Richmond Township Police Department 906 475 6556 510 Nicholas Avenue Palmer MI 49871 ALGER COUNTY Alger County Prosecutor 906 387 2117 101 Court Street Munising MI 49862 Alger County Sheriff s Department 906 387 4444 Corner Park and Varnum Munising MI 49862 Munising City Police Department 906 387 2275 100 West Munising Avenue Munising MI 49862 Michigan State Police 906 387 4551 ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUG HELP Great Lakes Recovery e 906 228 7611 Yous ka gs eral grins e NI ELM LEE NET 906 228 4692 Alcoholics Anonymous Hotline 906 249 4430 National AA Hotline
23. CLA 600 2950 600 295A 764 15B Personal protection orders are civil orders PPOs were formerly known as restraining orders injunctions or domestic assault restraining orders In Marquette County they are handled by the Circuit Family Court Usually one judge not necessarily from the Family Division but specially assigned there for this purpose handles PPOs Personal protection orders may be granted by the court whenever there is an immediate danger that you have been or are likely to be physically hurt by your intimate partner See below for definition of intimate partner They were created to protect you from things that your assailant does that may not be crimes but may be part of the battering such as calling you every hour or showing up where you work Depending on the facts in your situation the PPO can also give you temporary possession of any minor children you have with your intimate partner In certain circumstances it could order the partner to move out of your home These things can be put into a PPO and the court can tell your assailant he can t do them If he violates that order of the court the PPO then he could be arrested and sentenced to jail The first step to get a PPO is to fill out a request This request is called a Petition There are preprinted forms that you fill out to explain to the judge why you need a PPO forms are provided by the Prosecuting Attorney s Office The best way to do that is to write d
24. ESTIC VIOLENCE PPO You must be in one of the following relationships to obtain a domestic violence personal protection order married or formerly married living together or formerly living together have a child in common 7 1 94 dating relationship or former dating relationship 4 1 95 Notice that this is slightly different than the relationships needed for warrantless arrest HOW IS DATING DEFINED WHAT ABOUT LESBIANS AND GAY MEN Dating relationship is defined legally as frequent intimate associations primarily characterized by the expectation of affectional involvement The term does not include a casual relationship or an ordinary fraternization between two individuals in a business or social context High school students lesbian and gay male couples who have not lived together CAN get a domestic violence personal protection order because of the dating violence provision being added to the law Domestic violence personal protection orders and anti stalking personal protection orders can be confusing because they are civil orders of the court but may be enforced by arrest and criminal contempt penalties WHAT CAN BE INCLUDED IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PPOS Domestic violence personal protection orders can order your assailant not to enter your premises assault attack beat molest or wound you but attacks beatings and wounds are crimes for which you don t need a PPO for the police to arrest threaten
25. GER COUNTY CIRCUIT COURTS 11th Circuit Charles H Stark Chief Judge 906 341 3655 Home Office P O Box 186 Manistique Mi 49854 Court held at Alger County County Building Munising MI 49862 Assignment Clerk ose RR Renee 906 341 3655 Court Clerk Circuit Court Records 906 387 2076 Friend of the Court See riu ta EE 906 387 4636 Probation Department 0 ce eee eee eee eens 906 387 4921 ALGER COUNTY DISTRICT COURTS District 93 Bruce E Plackowski Chief Judge County Building 101 Court Street Munising MI 49862 906 387 2941 Mag Clerk Admin Lynne A Maki 906 387 3879 Court also held at County Courthouse Manistique MI 49854 906 341 3631 Mag Clerk Admin Belinda Cole 66 LAW ENFORCEMENT AGENCY ADDRESSES MAROUETTE COUNTY Chocolay Township Fire Department 906 249 4040 5010 U S 41 South Marguette MI 49855 Forsyth Township Police 906 346 9224 P O Box 1325 Gwinn MI 49841 Ishpeming City Police Department 906 486 4416 308 Cleveland Avenue Ishpeming MI 49849 Ishpeming Township Police Department 906 485 1888 1575 U S 41 West Ishpeming MI 49849 Keweenaw Bay Tribal Police 906 249 0901 Marquette City Police Department 906 228 0400 300 W Baraga Street Marquette MI 49
26. Hart Thanks to Erin House for major contributions to the section on safety planning SAFETY USING THE TELEPHONE CALLER ID ISSUES Many assailants use Caller ID as a way to monitor their partners conversations By reviewing the incoming calls on the Caller ID assailants can find out who has called while they were gone Even assailants who no longer live with their ex partner may insist on reviewing or sneaking a peek at the Caller ID when they come over Monitoring who you talk to and interrogating you about what you say is a tactic your assailant is using to control you and to isolate you from other people If you have Caller ID and you are concerned that your partner may give you a hard time about who has been calling you there are a few things that you can do You can disconnect your Caller ID from the phone but not from the power source so that the machine cannot record incoming calls You can ask people to block their number when they call you by dialing 67 before they dial your number When 67 is dialed only the word private will appear on the screen Sometimes only the word unavailable will appear on your Caller ID this indicates that the machine is unable to determine the number and or name of the person who is calling Unavailable numbers are often telemarketers or people calling from other areas without Caller ID service If someone calls you from a cell phone the name will appear as unavailable but the number will be disp
27. SURVIVOR S HANDBOOK FOR Battered Women WOMEN S CENTER INC 1310 S FRoNT ST MARQUETTE MI 49855 Phone 906 225 1346 FAX 906 225 1370 E mail wciup aol com Written by Susan G S McGee Table of Contents Note You don t have to read all of this at once Go to the section that you are most interested in each part can stand alone PART I Section I Statement of Purpose Acknowledgments II Definition of Terms Hl General Statement IV Warning Signs of Abusers V What Is Abuse VI Power and Control Wheel VII Questions Survivors Ask VIII What Can I Do To Be Safe IX Getting Help X Safety Planning XI What About My Children XII Child Abuse And Neglect XIII Education And Counseling For Assailants XIV Alcohol And Other Drugs XV If You Are A Lesbian Or Gay Male Survivor XVI If You Have A Physical Disability XVII If You Are A Survivor And An Elder XVIII If You Are A Woman of Color XIX If You Are A Survivor of Dating Violence XX If You Are Also A Victim of Sexual Assault XXI If You Are a Battered Immigrant Woman Page uA BW NF 14 17 26 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 Section I II Ul IV VI VII VIII XI XII PART II The Legal System How Does It Work Legal Terms What Is The Difference Between Civil And Criminal Cases Different Types Of Courts When Is Abuse Or Battering A Crime Assault e Stalking Criminal Sexual Conduct Going To Court The Police Respons
28. VE A PERSONAL PROTECTION ORDER HE VIOLATES IT AND THE POLICE DON T ARREST HIM Call the police station and ask to speak to the supervisor or command officer Explain the situation politely but firmly If you do not get a helpful response ask to talk to the next person up Call the Harbor House at 226 6611 Marquette County or 1 800 455 6611 in Alger County and tell us what has happened We may be able to help you explain the situation to the police Call your attorney as soon as you can Call Prosecutor s Office MOVING FROM PLACE TO PLACE WITH A PPO FULL FAITH AND CREDIT Unfortunately the enforcement of protection orders varies from place to place Police in Marquette County are more likely to enforce protection orders than most other counties in Michigan Enforcement can be spotty even within police agencies Police officers are less likely to enforce if they think you have initiated contact with your assailant Some police do not know that in Michigan they are allowed to arrest on the scene for violation of a personal protection order MCL 764 15b MSA 28 874 2 This section is designed to give you concrete information about the laws on protection orders issued in one place that need to be enforced in other places It is usually easier to get a protection order enforced in the place that it was issued than in other places If you are moving visiting working in a different community or going on vacation you will need t
29. alk with you about the assault your relationship how you are feeling and will help you sort out your options They will tell you about our services They will give you information about the legal system and what to expect They will offer you shelter transportation to medical help and give you support If you ve been contacted by the On Call Teams someone from our program will call you after that to see how you are doing and if you need anything else Legal Advocacy and Accompaniment If you want to make a police report or have to go to court decide to file for divorce need to get custody of your children need a personal protection order have questions about the court process our staff is available to assist you or go with you Our staff can also help you if you are a victim of domestic violence and have been charged with a crime We can also provide you with accurate information about how the legal system works and what you can expect We can help you fill out the forms for and get a personal protection order make referrals for attorneys and help you with victim impact statements Referrals If you decide you need a lawyer we can help you find one who knows about domestic assault If you want information on counseling for your assailant we will give it to you If you need help with your children or with food we can steer you in the right direction Let us know what you need 15 Counseling You can get counseling
30. and present the evidence against the assailant You will not need to hire an attorney The prosecutor will prosecute the criminal case against your assailant Court Appointed Defense Attorney Defense Attorney employed by the county to defend people in criminal cases who do not have money to hire an attorney Reasonable cause probable cause This means any facts that would induce a fair minded person of average intelligence to believe that the suspect has committed a crime 40 Respondent The person against whom a Personal Protection Order is issued Suspect This is used to refer to the person who the police suspect committed a crime In assault and battery cases it would be your assailant Subpoena This is an official order of the court that tells people that they must come to court You may get a subpoena as a witness in a civil or criminal trial Venue The neighborhood place or county in which an injury is declared to have been done It also can refer to the geographical division in which an action or prosecution is brought for trial SECTION IL WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CIVIL AND j y CRIMINAL CASES 1 A CRIMINAL CASES Criminal cases are those in which the state or municipal or J federal government initiates a case against an individual the ag defendant in the belief that the defendant has violated the law Criminal cases are based on the belief that the defendant s actions constitute a violation o
31. as abusive and they don t see how they are part of a pattern Assailants blame everyone and everything but themselves for the abuse They try to convince their partners that they can t stop or that they have good reasons or excuses for the abuse A woman may be forced by her boyfriend to have sex but she doesn t see it as rape Think about some of the following questions and see if you may be abused You don t have to answer yes to all of them to have been abused Have you been hit slapped pushed Has your partner pulled your hair out Restrained you Prevented you from leaving Have you been grabbed shaken bit Have you been choked Has your partner used an object to hit you Iron Telephone Belt Have you had bruises from being hit held or squeezed Have you had a black eye cut lip or broken tooth from being attacked Has your partner threatened you with a weapon Has your partner used a weapon against you Gun Knife Have you had to see a doctor because of an injury Has he threatened to hurt the children if you don t do what he says Has he threatened to kill you Your children Your family Your friends Your pets Has he demanded sex to make up after an attack Has he forced you to have sex Oral sex Anal sex Has he forced you to have sex with others Has he forced you to have sex in front of the children Has he put objects into you against your will H
32. as he forced you to have sex with an animal Has he stopped you from taking classes Has he stopped you from getting a job Has he stopped you from going to work or shown up at work and abused or threatened you there Does he keep take your paycheck and give you a little bit back or make you ask for money you need Does he keep all the money under his control Does he not let you go places house of worship to visit friends or family Does he not let you use the car Does he take your keys or disable your car Does he put all the vehicles in his name Does he not pay the bills Does he fight with your friends and family call them names and in general make it hard for them to see you Does he make you tell him where you ve been every minute Does he make you write down what you ve done all day Does he call frequently to check up on you when you re not with him Does he call you names Does he tell you that you are ugly fat stupid a bitch a slut or a whore Does he say that no one would ever want you if you left him Does he tell you you re not a real woman Does he accuse you of having sex with every man you meet or smile at or talk to Does he repeatedly and wrongfully accuse you of being unfaithful Do you change what you want to do or plan to do because you re scared of his temper Do you feel like you re walking on eggshells Are you afraid that if you left him he would ki
33. ask for your opinion You can talk to probation by telephone in person or submit a letter with your feelings about the incident and an appropriate sentence At sentencing the judge will have considered the probation department s report and their recommendation The judge may order the defendant to do community service or to enter counseling and has the option of ordering the defendant to make restitution to the victim If the defendant is put on probation it means that he will not go to jail as long as he meets the conditions of the probation If the defendant violates the conditions of the probation he could be sent to jail No contact could be part of his conditions of probation This is similar to a no contact order issued during a criminal trial but when it is entered into L E IL N it will not have details about the bond conditions on L E I N 52 E APPEAL After he is convicted the assailant has the right to appeal to the Circuit Court If your partner has been arrested or charged with a FELONY Crime here is what will happen SECTION IX FELONY CRIMES The Procedure l A ARRAIGNMENT IN DISTRICT COURT y After the suspect defendant assailant has been arrested or charged he is arraigned Most often arraignment will take place before the assailant is released You do not need to be present At zy arraignment he is given notice of the charges against him and advised of his constitutional rights The conditions and amount of ba
34. battered seem to outweigh the differences of race We re committed to helping you please call us 34 SECTION XIX IF YOU ARE A SURVIVOR OF DATING VIOLENCE For a long time people didn t realize that domestic violence 4 happened among young people in high school or in college who were dating There was an incorrect assumption that domestic violence only occurred among people who are married One problem is the term dating High school students today may not describe their relationships with other kids as dating You all may hang out in a group together or may never go out on a date But whenever there are romantic or sexual relationships there s the possibility that there could be violence or abuse Young people face additional obstacles to getting help when they re being abused If this is the first time you ve had a serious boyfriend or girlfriend the friend may tell you This is the way it is all relationships are like this If they are intensively jealous and possessive they may say this is what real love looks like You may be confused because he says he can t live without you and wants to be with you every single moment He may convince you that it s your fault because you dress in a certain way or like to dance or flirt He may threaten to ruin your reputation if you break up with him and you may be afraid you won t get another boyfriend You may not want to tell your parents or other adults about the abuse b
35. be strengthened by it In the words of Alice Walker I am the woman offering two flowers whose roots are twin Justice and Hope Let us begin Copyright Safe House 1996 Vickie Frederick Toure and Susan McGee Feel free to distribute if no changes are made and credit is given 69 NOTES NOTES NOTES NOTES NOTES NOTES NOTES
36. ceptable in intimate relationships and it s a crime Self defense is not a crime If you push your partner to get away while he s hitting you or if you scratch his face while he s choking you that s self defense Your batterer may tell you that you re just as bad because you tried to defend yourself That s wrong Your batterer wants you to believe that you ll never make it on your own and that you ll never get away from him Contrary to the newspapers and television battered women leave their boyfriends and husbands all the time It can be a long hard struggle Your batterer may be most dangerous and violent after you ve left when he s trying to get you back Nonetheless thousands of women who were once beaten are now safe Call Our 24 Hour Crisis Line 226 6611 Marguette County 1 800 455 6611 Alger County You can always call back even if you have called before You don t have to be interested in shelter you don t have to have made the decision to leave You can call just to talk or to get information You don t have to give your name when you call SECTION IV __ WARNING SIGNS OF ABUSERS Many assailants come across as charming and pleasant people 4 at the beginning of the relationship They often continue to display these qualities in public while being abusive in private The following are warning signs of abusers BUT there is no wi sure fire way to identify a batterer ahead of time Is he very very jealous Does he
37. d role In district court arraignments are often handled by the magistrate 39 Personal Protection Order A civil order issued by the Court which can prohibit the batterer from doing many things including having contact with the survivor or the minor children threatening the survivor sending objects or correspondence to the survivor going to the survivor s home school or workplace interfering with the survivor s work or educational opportunities having access to school or medical records of the minor children which would disclose the survivor s location or residence and stalking the Petitioner Petitioner The person who files paperwork with the court reguesting a Personal Protection Order Plaintiff The person who brings an action The person who sues or files the complaint If you file for divorce you are the plaintiff Plea The person who has been arrested will at some point enter a plea They tell the court they are guilty or not guilty They can also stand mute or plead nolo contendere If they plead nolo contendere which means I will not contend it is similar to a guilty plea However the nolo contendere plea cannot be used against them Prosecutor This is an attorney employed by the County whose job it is to prove that the suspect or defendant committed the crime with which he was charged If there are criminal charges against your assailant it is the prosecutor who will prepare the case
38. da Mexico and other Central and South American countries If your children are citizens of the United States and you are concerned that your partner may take them out of the country you can participate in the Children s Passport Issuance Alert Program run by the State Department This program enables the State Department to notify a parent or legal guardian that a passport has been requested for the child ren You must submit a written request to the State Department for entry of a child s name into the program To participate in the Children s Passport Issuance Alert Program you can 1 call 1 202 736 7000 and request copies of the Request form or 2 download the Request form from the State Department website at http travel state gov pia_program html Simply fill out the request form and fax it back to the number indicated on the form 27 Submitting this reguest does not necessarily mean that a passport reguest for your child will be denied In order for the State Department to deny a passport for your child you must submit a complete copy of a temporary or permanent court order that states either 1 that you have sole legal custody or 2 that you have joint legal custody or 3 that there are restrictions on the child s travel SECTION XII CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT If you believe your partner has sexually or physically abused 4 one or more of your children what do you do Believe your child Children almost never l
39. dant is found guilty the judge will set a date for sentencing You have the right to be present throughout the trial unless you are going to be a witness If you are a witness you will be kept out of the courtroom until you testify E SENTENCING After the suspect is convicted and before the judge sentences him the Probation Department makes a pre sentence investigation report As part of the pre sentence investigation the probation officer may contact you and ask for your opinion At sentencing the judge will have considered the probation department s report and their recommendation The judge may order the defendant to do community service or to enter counseling and has the option of ordering the defendant to make restitution to the victim If the defendant is put on probation it means that he will probably not go to jail as long as he meets the conditions of the probation If the defendant violates the conditions of the probation he could be sent to jail If you request it the Prosecutor must let you know what crimes the assailant was convicted of about your right to make a written or oral statement for use in the pre sentence investigation It can include the nature and extent of any physical psychological or emotional harm you ve suffered the extent of any economic loss or property damage you have suffered your opinion of the need for restitution and your recommendation for an appropriate sentence This statement
40. ders also known as domestic relationship personal protection orders MCLA 600 2950 which require a domestic relationship and 2 anti stalking personal protection orders also known as non domestic relationship stalking personal protection orders MCLA 600 2950a which do not require a domestic relationship but do require a pattern of unconsented contact To get a domestic violence PPO you must show the court that there is a domestic relationship AND reasonable cause to believe your partner has done one or more of the acts that you list in the PPO To get an anti stalking PPO you must show to the court that an individual has committed two or more of the acts you list and is likely to continue The request to the court must state specific incidents of assaults and or threats and may describe injuries and list witnesses Criminal convictions or police reports are not required to get personal protection orders However if you do have a police report or the number of the police report or a hospital report it is helpful to include it GETTING AN ATTORNEY You do not need an attorney to go to court to get a PPO However the forms are difficult to navigate Most people need some help to fill them out See previous section for more information After being served the assailant has the right to object to the personal protection order and request a hearing If your assailant asks for a hearing on the PPO and you don t already have an attorn
41. e If He Is Arrested What Happens Next Misdemeanor Crimes The Procedure Felony Crimes The Procedure Civil Remedies Divorce Custody e Visitation Civil Suits Personal Protection Orders Federal laws State laws Judges Of Marquette County Trial Courts Judges Of Alger County Trial Courts Helpful Resources Harbor House Affirmation Page 39 4 42 43 43 44 45 46 48 50 51 53 55 55 56 57 58 58 64 65 65 66 68 69 Published by Marguette Women s Center Harbor House Written By Susan G S McGee 1996 Revised 2001 DVPSH Safe House and Susan McGee J SECTION I STATEMENT OF PURPOSE j This is a handbook for battered women to help them y survive Its purpose is to define abuse to give support encouragement and information to survivors and to provide information about legal rights and options J It is not intended to dispense legal advice ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Grateful thanks to all those people in the criminal justice system who contributed to the SAFE House s knowledge and information This manual was written by Susan McGee Executive Director of the SAFE House Contributions for this revision came from Lore Ann Rogers Hon Elizabeth Pollard Hines Julie Youdovin Erin House and Jamie Steele Copyright 1996 DVPSH Safe House and Susan G S McGee Revised 1999 Revised 2001 The handbook was printed by one of the following grants funders This project Survivor s Handbook was s
42. e be locked or make sure that the front desk does not let him in Ask that your current home address or phone number not be given out Carpool to work with someone or ask security to walk you to and from your car each day Ask if you can vary your work schedule Suggest to your boss that someone from Harbor House come and consult with them and or do a talk for employees about domestic violence This may help them take your situation more seriously 20 SAFETY FOR SURVIVORS AND THEIR CHILDREN DURING VISITATION If visitation is ordered by the court try to have visitation arrangements made through a third party with whom you feel comfortable Work on having drop off and pick up happen in a public place police station near mall security post office lobby or have it happen at a third party s home Try to avoid arriving at or departing from the drop off pick up site at the same time as the assailant f the exchange of children must happen at your home try to have the custody order specify that the assailant must wait in his car across the street and that he cannot come to the door Arrange for a supportive calm and mature friend to be present during the exchange Have the kids all ready to go before he arrives Keep the door locked in case he shows up early Document all problems with visitation and report them to the Friend of the Court The concept of safety planning was originally developed by Barbara
43. e homicide victims are killed by their husband or an intimate partner If you are battered you are in danger of being killed Most homicides occur after women have left or when assailants realize deep down that they are leaving for good Assessing Lethality The following are signs or indicators that your partner might kill you There is no guarantee that if he does not fit this picture he will not kill you If all the answers to these questions are no that does not mean you are necessarily safe from death 8 Has he threatened to kill you your children or a member of your family Has he threatened or tried to kill himself Beware Batterers often kill their partners BEFORE killing themselves Does he have fantasies about killing you or the children The more details the more danger Does he own weapons Has he ever used them or threatened to use them in the past Does he believe he owns you and that you have no right to life without him Does he see you as the center of the universe Can he not think about life without you Has he been seriously acutely depressed Does he talk about how you have stolen his children Can he find you Does he know where you are If he can t find you he can t kill you f you have left has he tracked your every move for days or weeks Has he taken you hostage s there a lot of sexual violence rape and sexual humiliation in the relationship e Have you told him yo
44. e only if both parties are willing to accept it If the defendant in a separate maintenance action files a counterclaim for divorce the court can grant a divorce but not separate maintenance There is no such thing as legal separation in Michigan D CUSTODY A custody order specifies with whom your child ren will live Custody and visitation are two different things The judge can give custody to one parent sole custody or to both parents joint custody Until there is a court order both parents have equal rights to the custody of their child Either parent may file a motion to obtain custody Personal Protection Orders can grant the petitioner temporary possession of the children Read the section on Personal Protection Orders for more information The Friend of the Court is the arm of the Family Division of the Circuit Court that conducts investigations and makes recommendations to the court regarding child custody visitation support alimony and property It also enforces the court s orders relating to child support alimony custody and visitation 1 MARRIED WOMEN A married woman can request temporary custody when she files for divorce if the children are hers and are in her possession The judge can grant such an order ex parte without a hearing or notice to the other party The parent who files first and is in possession of the children usually gets temporary custody When the parent who does not get temp
45. e some things to consider when you suspect your partner is about to assault you again az Try to figure out the warning signs that come before an assault drinking taking drugs pay day a bill collector a bad day at work Are there physical signs that he is going to hit you clenched fists threats heavy breathing a flushed face destruction of property etc Try to get out or get help before the assault Are there any weapons in the house Where Can you remove the weapons The ammunition Lock them up When an assault occurs try to move to a room or area that has access to an exit Avoid a bathroom kitchen or anywhere near weapons Can you figure out a signal for the neighbors to call the police Can you teach your child ren to call the police Or can you go to a neighbor s and call Can you and your children memorize telephone numbers to call for safety Can you hide a cell phone if your assailant destroys the phone in your house Sometimes you can get a special cell phone that calls the police and or the shelter from your local police or from Harbor House Think ahead and prepare for situations where you may need to leave in a hurry How will you get out of the house Some women take out the garbage or walk the dog or get the newspaper or offer to go get him cigarettes Set up a routine where it s normal for you to leave for a short period of time Where will you go when you get out of the house Wh
46. ecause they don t approve of the relationship You may have broken rules in seeing your friend and you don t want to get yourself or him in serious trouble or be saddled with more rules and restrictions Adults may not take your relationship seriously They may tell you you re too young to know anything about love or that you are going through a phase Your boyfriend may have cut off relationships with your friends and it may be hard to approach them for help The law doesn t protect survivors of dating violence in the ways it protects those married living together or who have a child in common For example police cannot arrest without a warrant in misdemeanor assault cases if the only relationship that exists is a dating relationship If you re being hurt and abused in a dating relationship please call us at 226 6611 or 1 800 455 6611 Survivors of dating violence can get a personal protection order and assailants can be prosecuted You can get an anti stalking personal protection order and your assailant could be criminally charged with stalking We ll listen and believe in you There IS help available and healthy non violent relationships can happen We recognize that people other than high school and college students are in dating relationships This section focuses on the special issues of young people 35 SECTION XX IF YOU ARE ALSO A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT A large percentage of survivors of physical violence are a
47. en Find out if you will be able to stay in the courtroom the entire time or whether you will need to be outside the courtroom until after you testify Let your attorney or the prosecutor know what things you think are particularly important to stress and ask your attorney what questions he or she plan to ask you Make sure you ve told your attorney or the prosecutor any thing that your assailant plans to use against you past arrests history of drug abuse Who to bring and who not to bring to court Take someone supportive with you if you possibly can Other survivors say this is really important Going alone to court is a bad idea The Women s Center can usually send an advocate with you to court Please let us know as soon as you have any court date If you can manage child care don t bring your kids It s hard for them and distracting for you Sometimes a survivor will bring a family member or friend along who is not supportive who argues with the survivor or who needs a lot of emotional attention Choose a support person carefully although sometimes choices are limited If you are representing yourself in a divorce custody or personal protection order case let the bailiff or the judges clerk know when you arrive in the courtroom If you are the victim witness in a criminal case let the prosecutor 46 know when you arrive The assailant the assailant s friends and members of the assailant s family might try to approach yo
48. en there is reasonable cause to believe that the personal protection order has been violated MCLA 750 15b 5 violation of the provisions of a conditional release on bond based on reasonable cause MCLA 764 15e AND MCLA 765 6b and 6 violation of probation or parole based on reasonable cause MCLA 164 15g When a misdemeanor domestic assault has occurred a police officer DOES NOT have to witness the crime in order to make an arrest In order to arrest for MOST misdemeanors the police officer DOES have to witness the crime To arrest without witnessing the crime the police officer must establish reasonable cause that an assault has taken place AND the victim and suspect must have one of the protected relationships spouse former spouse living together formerly living together child in common The victim does NOT need a personal protection order for an arrest to take place if s he has been assaulted Visible signs of injury are not necessary 48 The victim doesn t have to be willing to prosecute for an arrest to take place If they believe a domestic assault has occurred the police will probably arrest the assailant even if the victim asks them not to do so Police may arrest without a warrant if you were dating the assailant If you are dating the assailant but not living with him you CAN get a domestic violence or anti stalking personal protection order see the section on stalking B What if the pol
49. ere is the nearest telephone Try to collect and hide money Put important documents in one place where they can be grabbed easily If possible leave copies of documents spare clothes spare keys to the car and the house and money with a neighbor or trusted friend Think about taking money from any bank accounts This is not stealing You can always give it back Our experience is that if you don t take it your assailant will take it all Reach out for help Enlist your friends family co workers neighbors and professionals in your safety planning 17 WARNING Violence often gets worse when you try to leave or show signs of independence like taking a class or filing for divorce Your assailant may become desperate that he is actually losing control of you Or he will decide that you have left for good and will take revenge out of malice and spite Take special care WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS TAKE YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOU If you do not have your children with you you will NOT be able to file for temporary custody of your children The parent who has physical possession of the children will almost always get temporary custody Assailants often kidnap children or threaten to harm them in order to get their partners to return If the assailant has physical possession he can get temporary custody If he gets temporary custody you cannot legally take the children from him You will have to go to court and contest the
50. ey we recommend that you get one There is no state filing fee for obtaining a personal protection order 59 The judge decides whether to issue a personal protection order If the judge does not s he must immediately state in writing and on the record the reasons why You may keep your address confidential but must give the court some address where you can receive mail e g notice of any court hearings The order goes into effect immediately after the judge signs it However police may not arrest your assailant when the order is violated unless there is proof that the order has been served on the assailant When the police come they can If there is a violation before service has been made the i e leave the premises the police can arrest The police can also serve the assailant with the PPO at that time IF THE PPO HAS NOT BEEN SERVED If the PPO has been signed but not served and the police are called because your assailant has violated the order the police should give oral notice to your assailant and serve him with the ppo if he has not left If he continues to violate the order after being notified by the police the police could then arrest him PPO SERVICE Service can be by a process server or by any adult who is not a party or a witness to the dispute The Sheriff s Department performs this service free of charge It may be by registered mail but the signed receipt is needed to demonstrate valid service of the order
51. f the rights of all citizens or a danger to the community The community pays for the prosecution through a prosecutor or city attorney The defendant is guaranteed the right to representation by an attorney appointed by the court sometimes the public defender if he or she cannot afford to hire one In the past too many people thought of domestic violence as a private family matter civil and not a crime These attitudes are slowly changing B CIVIL CASES Civil cases are those which are initiated by one private individual or group against another private individual or group Each individual must provide his or her own attorney Divorce custody visitation and property settlement are civil matters If you sue your assailant that s civil Your assailant may drag out divorce and property settlement to wear you down or to make you run out of money He may use visitation of children as a way to track and harass you A typical assailant tells his victim that they will never see their children again if they pursue divorce Too often this has occurred Since 1993 judges have been required to consider domestic violence when granting 41 custody of children Domestic violence personal protection orders and anti stalking personal protection orders can be confusing because they are civil orders of the court but may be enforced by arrest and criminal contempt penalties SECTION III DIFFERENT TYPES OF COURTS Marquette County is tryin
52. fs and or are very connected to their religious community Some religious communities are very supportive of a woman s safety Others are not Sometimes they may counsel the woman to stay and try to work it out or even actively support the abuser usually because they don t understand about domestic violence Try to find someone connected with your faith who is knowledgeable about violence against women Most women of faith make decisions in the context of their religious beliefs Women won t decide to leave unless they believe it s the moral thing to do A wonderful resource for women of faith is the National Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence 936 North 34th Street Suite 200 Seattle WA 98103 USA Phone 206 634 1903 fax 206 634 0115 CPSDV cpsdv org Website http www cpsdv org They publish a great booklet called Keeping the Faith They have recently added sections for Jewish women Muslim women Black women and Asian women Muslim women might look at Karamah the Muslim Women s Human Rights Organization at http www karamah org Why does he hit me People batter in order to control their partners He may say it s because he was hit as a child He may blame losing his job or being discriminated against He may say he s been treated badly in other relationships or that what you do forces him to hit Some women want to believe these reasons because they think that by changing what
53. g out a new court system which j y may be a little confusing Judges are assigned to one of the three divisions listed at the end of this booklet but any judge may act zc in any capacity A Civil Criminal Division of the Marquette County Circuit Court The Civil Criminal Division has jurisdiction over all civil lawsuits over 25 000 all civil appeals from administrative agencies and all felony criminal cases as well as high misdemeanors such as criminal sexual conduct in the fourth degree If your assailant is charged with a felony crime such as attempted murder or aggravated stalking the case will be handled in this division B The Family Division of the Marquette Circuit Court The Family Division includes what were formerly the Juvenile Court and the Probate Court It handles estates and wills commitment to hospital care for mentally ill and or addicted persons adoption for children guardianship juvenile delinquency and abuse and neglect foster care The Family Division also handles divorce custody and visitation The Family Division handles personal protection orders There is usually one judge assigned to personal protection orders This may be a judge who is specially assigned to the Family Division for that purpose C Marquette County District Court The District Court handles small claims landlord tenant issues misdemeanors and traffic violations Crimes are misdemeanors if the potential sentence is one year
54. h book on domestic violence written to give guidance to judges is online It has a very complete description of state laws The url is http www supremecourt state mi us courts mji dvbench htm MARQUETTE COUNTY CIRCUIT COURTS 25th Circuit Thomas L Solka Chief Judge Pro Tem 906 225 8205 John R Weber Chief Judge 906 225 8217 Bars cB AA or ot eo Lato aac andar i e 906 225 8215 Courthouse 234 W Baraga Avenue Marquette MI 49855 Administrative Aide Judge Solka 906 225 8205 Administrative Aide Judge Weber 906 225 8217 Court Clerk David J Roberts 906 225 8330 Friend of the Court Carolyn L Hanson 906 225 8262 Probation Department 906 225 8224 MARQUETTE COUNTY DISTRICT COURTS District 96 James M Collins Chief Judge Dennis H Girard Chief Judge Pro Tem Courthouse 234 W Baraga Marquette MI 49855 906 225 8235 aa fees ee ar is ses tie Seo aaa AI NR gs a 906 225 8255 Mag Ct Admn Jennifer Bennon Mag Cynthia Cope Assignment Clerk 0202 cece eee eee 906 225 8234 Probation eed WA usos ett tas ted ce WAA 906 225 8250 Court also held at 308 Cleveland Avenue Suite 201 Ishpeming MI 49849 906 485 5579 Mag Sharon Burns Baxicothenendendee e uisi somete 906 485 4725 Probation AA mut sooo Ou oda et rea 906 485 5794 65 AL
55. he District Court judge that a crime was in fact committed and there is probable cause to believe that the defendant has committed that crime The defendant is represented by an attorney who can cross examine the witnesses and present evidence If probable cause is established the defendant is sent bound over to Circuit Court for trial A defendant can decide not to have a preliminary examination If the judge finds that there is probable cause then the case goes to the Civil Criminal Division of the Circuit Court You will be subpoenaed and may have to testify at this hearing 53 C ARRAIGNMENT IN THE CIVIL CRIMINAL DIVISION OF THE CIRCUIT COURT After the case is sent to Circuit Court the defendant is again arraigned The court may hear motions to determine whether evidence will be admitted or whether there is some legal reason why the defendant should not be tried The prosecutor and defense attorney may decide whether the defendant will plead guilty to the crime charged or some other lesser offense You do not need to be present If you reguest you have the right to consult with the Prosecuting Attorney prior to the trial E THE TRIAL The prosecutor will try to prove that the defendant committed the crime that he is guilty beyond a reasonable doubt The prosecutor must call all the witnesses needed to prove guilt The defendant is not reguired to call witnesses You need to be present and you may need to testify If the defen
56. he Spiderwoman list for their help on this section 25 ON AMERICA ON LINE If you re still living with the assailant he can read your email if he knows the password on the master account The master account is the first screen name created when the account was opened He can change the password of any other screen names on that account if he has access to the master account If he knows the credit card number you set up the account with he could have someone call pretending to be you and change the password If you don t store your password but enter it every time you sign on you would know that the password had changed If you ve left him buy your account with a credit card that lists the mailbox address of a place such as Mailboxes Inc and give AOL the mailbox address as well AOL is not supposed to release information about subscribers but mistakes happen You can create different screen names and unless the assailant has physical access to your computer or knows someone who does he won t know what those screen names are Therefore he can t set up his Buddy List to track you whenever you are online If you know his screen name you can block him from tracking you through Buddy List and you can also use keyword mail controls to block email from him Save any email he sends you If you receive instant mail from him print it out and save it All of these things are evidence that he is stalking or harass
57. he plaintiff The other spouse is called the defendant Divorces are filed in the Family Division of Circuit Court After the complaint is filed and before the divorce is final court orders for temporary custody visitation child support and alimony can be requested A divorce becomes final when the court enters a judgment of divorce after the two parties settle the case with the help of their attorneys The judgment contains information about who gets property who has custody and issues about visitation and custody of the children A divorce may be granted in 60 days if there are no minor children When there are minor children the waiting period is extended to 180 days Divorce kits There is something called a do it yourself divorce kit They can only be used when the parties come to total agreement about everything They cannot be used in cases of domestic violence Finding an attorney A good lawyer who knows about domestic assault is essential if you are going to file for divorce Call the Harbor House crisis line at 226 6611 Marquette County or 1 800 455 6611 in Alger County for a referral to attorneys 55 C SEPARATE MAINTENANCE Separate maintenance allows the parties to live apart legally separated and free from the responsibilities of marriage but still be technically married A separate maintenance action may provide for the support of a spouse who requires it MCLA 552 7 MSA 25 87 Separate maintenance is availabl
58. hen there are conditions of BOND they are issued by the judge magistrate during the prosecution of a criminal case of domestic violence Usually they are issued at arraignment but they can also be issued at pre trial or sentencing You may ask the judge for a no contact order by calling his her office OR by showing up in person OR a Harbor House advocate can ask the judge for you Sometimes the police will put in their report that you requested no contact and sometimes the judge does it on his her own No contact orders can prohibit your assailant from contacting you in person by phone mail or through a third party or from coming to your home or work During the prosecution of the case before sentencing the no contact order must be listed as a bond condition on the police computers If the assailant violates the no contact order he can be arrested immediately When the no contact order is issued during the criminal trial what it prohibits is entered on the police computer No contact orders last only as long as the prosecution of the criminal case 51 After the criminal case is over you must get a personal protection order if you want the provisions of the no contact order to continue The judge may also order no contact as a condition of probation If after your assailant is convicted he is put on probation no contact may be ordered If he violates that order he could go to jail The defendant can enter a plea of guilty not guil
59. ice don t respond 1 Call again and ask to talk to a supervisor Say I am the victim of a domestic assault I need protection Please help me Be persistent but courteous Tell them about any weapons present or injuries to you or your children All calls to 911 are recorded 2 Call the Harbor House Crisis Line at 226 6611 Marquette County or 1 800 455 6611 in Alger County 3 Call Prosecutor s Office 225 8310 C What if the police don t arrest 1 Ask them to help you get to a safe place 2 Call the Women s Center Crisis Line at 226 6611 Marquette County or 1 800 455 6611 in Alger County 3 Remember if the police don t arrest right away that does not mean that your assailant cannot be arrested or prosecuted later Call Harbor House to discuss the particular circumstances of your case We can advise you on how to proceed D How to get the best police response Try to remain as calm as you can Don t shout at the police it won t help Ask to talk to one of the officers privately Then you won t be interrupted by your assailant Be as specific as you can in telling the officer what happened Say He grabbed me by the arm and threw me on the floor rather than He came at me and messed me up Show them any injuries you may have Show them any damaged property Tell them about any witnesses Tell them if there have been past assaults Show them any no contact or personal protection orders
60. ie about abuse Tell your child you re glad she or he told you and that you will 3 try to help them be safe in the future Be aware that some institutions may assume that your child is lying or they may assume you are lying to get revenge on your husband to get child custody or to win a court battle Keep a log and write down all incidents and all statements about the abuse Get your child some counseling Call our crisis line at 906 226 6611 or 1 800 455 6611 from Alger County voice for a referral Get some support for yourself Make a Children s Protective Services C P S report In Marquette County their number is 906 228 9691 This is a 24 hour number You can also call the police Give C P S and the police as many concrete details as you can Understand that they cannot take action based on what your child has told you They will have to hear it directly from the child If your child has been sexually assaulted or abused he or she should have a medical exam However do not take him or her to your family doctor for an exam Most doctors are not trained to do such exams and it would be traumatic for the child Ask Children s Protective Services to make a referral to a physician trained in forensic examination of child sexual abuse 28 _ SECTION XIII EDUCATION AND COUNSELING FOR ASSAILANTS All survivors want the violence to stop but not all want the y relationship to end Ideally they d like the relationship witho
61. il are determined and a date is set for the preliminary examination within 14 days of arraignment If you are being harassed by your assailant the prosecutor can ask the judge to revoke his bail The judge may issue a no contact order see above under misdemeanor arraignments Within seven days of the arraignment but not less than 24 hours before the preliminary examination the prosecutor must give you a a statement of the procedural steps in the trial b information about the crime victim s compensation act c suggested procedures if you are subjected to threats and d a person to contact for further information Upon your request the prosecutor must give you notice of any court proceedings and schedule changes consult with you regarding the disposition of the crime this can include dismissal plea or sentence negotiations or pre trial diversion programs and confer with you prior to a plea If you are afraid that your assailant may use further violence against you the prosecutor may ask the court to protect you from disclosing your address place of employment or other personal identification You should receive a form from the Marquette County Prosecutor s office that you must send back in order to get these rights You need to keep the Prosecutor s office informed of your address and telephone numbers B PRELIMINARY EXAMINATION IN DISTRICT COURT This is a hearing before the judge The prosecutor presents witnesses to convince t
62. ilant to stop following you or appearing within your sight approaching or confronting you in a public place or on private property appearing at your home work or school or a shelter if you are staying in one entering onto or remaining on property you own lease or occupy contacting you by telephone mail or electronic mail placing an object on or delivering an object to property you own lease Or occupy INCREASING EFFECTIVENESS OF A PERSONAL PROTECTION ORDER To maximize the effectiveness of a personal protection order it is important for you to do the following Carry a copy of the order with you along with a proof of service whenever possible This is not required for enforcement but is a good idea and it helps get the order enforced f the assailant violates the order but has not been served and you call the police the police can serve him if you have a copy Verify or have your attorney verify that the order and proof of service is on L E L N Let your employer school and friends know about the PPO and ask them to call the police if your assailant shows up WHAT TO DO IF HE VIOLATES IT Call the police The police should arrest if there is probable cause to believe the personal protection order has been violated and the order has been served The police may not be ABLE to arrest him if he has left the scene and cannot be found in a reasonable period of time 62 WHAT TO DO IF YOU HA
63. ing money controlling access to children convincing their partners that they will lose their children if they leave They don t have to hit any more because their victims know that they are capable of brutality and violence Some survivors say that the apologies and gifts are just another method of control He s afraid you will leave Being abusive will strengthen your resolution to go so he tries being sweet and loving instead Violence never goes away by itself It usually increases in freguency and intensity over time Battering is a behavior that is learned It s learned in families and it s learned in our culture It is developed and practiced over time It takes specialized work by counselors trained to deal with this problem for batterers to have a chance to change For more information see Section XIII Will he go to prison Usually he will not In most cases domestic assailants are charged with misdemeanor assault and battery If convicted the maximum sentence for a first offense in Michigan is 93 days in jail The second and third conviction might mean more time in jail More often they are put on probation and often they are sentenced to batterers counseling If your assailant is charged with a felony there is a possibility that he might go to prison It is not your fault if your partner is convicted of a crime and therefore not your fault if he goes to prison or jail He committed the crime it s his responsibility
64. ing you If you use a provider other than AOL consult directly with them about the best way to secure your account SECTION XI WHAT ABOUT MY CHILDREN Children are in danger in homes with a batterer for many 4 reasons A lot of assailants hurt the children physically and some sexually abuse the kids Your assailant may kidnap your children L j to try to get you back or to get revenge on you Batterers seek custody of children for the same reasons Children can be hurt indirectly Your batterer may be trying to shoot you and accidentally shoot a child Or he may push you down the stairs while you are holding the baby and the baby may be hurt Children may get hurt trying to protect you or restrain the batterer Children in homes where there is violence may start behaving in negative ways or develop psychological problems Some children become the perfect kids they take care of everything and became overachievers Others act out get involved in gangs or start having a lot of sex skip school drink or use other drugs Kids may be either very withdrawn or very aggressive Boys start thinking that it s okay to use violence in intimate relationships and are in danger of doing it when they are adults Some survivors think their children don t know about the violence and 26 therefore aren t going to be hurt by it Children from violent homes tell us that they almost always know about the violence even when they weren t
65. ises or injuries you have Take pictures or videotapes of any damage done to your home or property Make sure you write the date of the incident and a description of what it is on any pictures If you are taking pictures of bruises on a specific part of your body take two pictures One a close up that shows the bruise and one further away which shows your face and that part of the body That way you can prove the bruise was made on you When taking pictures of a hole in the wall put something next to the hole to show how big it is Keep copies of any email he sent to you Record or make copies of any messages on answering machines or voice mail Write down the name address and phone number of any witnesses to his violence Get medical help If you have been injured go to the emergency room or urgent care unit or see your doctor Medical records may be important evidence in criminal or civil court cases Medical records may also help you get a personal protection order Give all the information you feel safe to give Medical records are supposed to be confidential and are not supposed to be given out to anyone but you 13 SPECIAL MEDICAL CONCERNS What seems like a minor injury could be a major one If your head gets hit and you lose consciousness if you are more groggy an hour after an attack if a headache lasts more than two weeks or if you have a seizure be sure to see a doctor These could be signs of brain injury or bleeding in
66. ity your assailant may capitalize on them He may withhold medication necessary for you or give you too much If you rely on your assailant for personal care he might withhold food or water see section on disability If you re not working outside the home he might find it easier to isolate you from supportive friends You may be particularly worried about your assailant s poor health or destructive behavior and wonder what would happen to him if you were to leave You may not think of yourself as battered but if you re being hurt and controlled you probably are the Women s Center can help you find resources to become safe and to stay independent We work closely with area organizations concerned with the economic and social well being of older citizens Please call us so we can work out a plan with you 33 4 SECTION XVIII IF YOU ARE A WOMAN OF COLOR Women of color are much less likely to receive help from td systems than white women because of racism Women of color are less likely to be believed Society still thinks that violence is normal in communities of color and that battered women J therefore do not need help Professionals may use the excuse well battering is acceptable in that culture to not help women of color Your assailant may use your common experiences with racism and understandable fear of racism to keep you under control He may tell you that if you have him arrested he may be beaten
67. ke control of their lives If you identify yourself as a battered woman you might have to accept that you can t change your partner and that he has a serious problem with violence Many women don t want to think of their husbands or boyfriends as batterers If you can t figure out whether you have been battered call our crisis line and talk to one of our counselor advocates Is it just the drinking No If he stopped drinking he wouldn t stop being abusive A lot of times assailants will drink so that they can have an excuse for assaulting their partners Many batterers blame their drinking or drug use for their violence and claim they cannot help themselves That is not true They have the choice not to batter They also have the choice to seek help for their use of alcohol or other drugs A lot of batterers claim that they can t help what they do when they are drunk or high that they are out of control and therefore not responsible for what they do In fact a lot of people drink but only some assault their partners Batterers judgement and physical ability may be harmed by their drinking or drug use If he is trying to strangle you into unconsciousness and he is drinking he might misjudge and kill you If he pushes you he might miss and push you down the stairs But people will not commit acts that they feel are totally wrong even when drinking For more information see Section XIV Could I be killed One third of all femal
68. layed If you want to call your assailant but do not want him to know where you are always dial 67 before calling his number More and more people have Caller ID 21 and if you are concerned about not revealing your number it is important to get in the habit of always dialing 67 before you call any number If you call from a pay phone the name of the business where the pay phone is located as well as the number of the pay phone will appear on Caller ID Your assailant will be able to determine what area you are in if not your exact location If you call your partner from another county or state the name is more likely to come up as unavailable Usually the phone number where you are calling from with the area code will be displayed on Caller ID Many cell phones have Caller ID on them so if you contact your assailant on his cell phone your number may appear If your assailant is stalking you by calling you repeatedly you can use your Caller ID as evidence You can also use messages recorded on an answering machine or voice mail You can call the police and have an officer come look at the Caller ID at your home Or you can take your Caller ID machine in to the police station to have them verify the numbers on the machine and to make a police report about the harassing repeating calls If your partner always blocks his number when he calls you you can contact the police department and the telephone company to get a trace put on y
69. letting her know about or have access to family income USING MALE PRIVILEGE Treating her like a servant making all the big decisions acting like the master of the castle being the one to define men s and women s roles USING ISOLATION Controlling what she does who she sees and talks to what she reads where she goes limiting her outside involvement using jealousy to justify actions USING CHILDREN Making her feel guilty about the children using the children to relay messages Using visitation to harass her threatening to take the children away MINIMIZING DENYING AND BLAMING Making light ot the abuse and rot taking her concerns about it seriously saying the abuse didn t happen shifting respon sibility for abusive behavior saying she caused it a SECTION VII QUESTIONS SURVIVORS ASK Am I really a battered woman 4 A lot of women who have been assaulted don t want to think of themselves as battered Our society has taught us to believe az that battered women have low self esteem are weak or masochistic No one wants to think of herself in that way In fact battered women come from all races are rich and poor and everything in between have lots of education or none and have no special personality characteristics The only thing that all battered women have in common is that their partner has caused them to live in fear and has tried to ta
70. ll you Are you afraid if you left him he would kill himself A woman may be forced by her boyfriend to have sex but she doesn t see it as rape A woman is physically assaulted within her home every 15 seconds in the United States Has he hurt or killed your pets Has he made you do things that you re ashamed of Has he made you commit a crime Does he encourage you to drink too much Does he make or force you to use drugs Has he prevented you from using the toilet Woke you up every few minutes or every half an hour Withheld food from you for long periods of time f you are sick or have a chronic illness or developmental disability does he withhold medication from you If you are addicted to alcohol or other drugs does he buy you liquor or drugs Does he stop you from going to meetings After he has hit you does he act sweet and loving Does he say he s sorry buy you gifts cry and say he ll never do it again Are you afraid of him Are you afraid of what he might do if you crossed him If you are not sure you re being abused call us and let us help figure it out with you 6 SECTION VI POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL J This chart is a conceptual way of looking at the primary tactics and behaviors that individual abusers use to get and maintain control in their relationships Battering is intentional It s used to gain power and control over another person Physical abuse is on
71. ll you to drop the charges Victims may not drop charges in this county only the Prosecutor can do that The police will send the incident report and complaint to the Prosecutor for authorization If the complaint is authorized it will proceed SECTION VIII MISDEMEANOR CRIMES The Procedure A ARRAIGNMENT IN DISTRICT COURT 4 After the suspect defendant assailant has been arrested or charged he is arraigned If the defendant has been arrested for assault and battery arraignment will almost always take place J before the assailant is released You do not need to be present although you can be there if you want You can call the jail to find our when and where your assailant will be arraigned At arraignment he is given notice of the charges against him and advised of his constitutional rights The conditions and amount of bail are determined and a date is set for the pre trial Domestic violence assailants are usually released on personal recognizance which means that he s let out of jail without putting up money to make sure he shows up Depending on the severity of the crime the judge may order the assailant to post bail to get out of jail At the arraignment or later in the process a no contact order could be issued The assailant could also be told not to return to your residence B NO CONTACT ORDERS No contact orders are conditions of bond OR probation They can be issued in misdemeanor OR felony cases W
72. lso y sexually abused Sexual abuse can happen in a number of different ways in domestic violence relationships He might target your genitals or breasts in an assault Many assailants E demand sex after a beating to make up He might force you to do things you don t like sexually or that physically hurt He might force you to have sex with others or to act out what happens in pornography He might take pictures or videotapes of you and threaten to use them against you in the future He might deliberately give you a sexually transmitted disease force you to end a pregnancy or prevent you from terminating a pregnancy It s sometimes hard for survivors to recognize sexual abuse Your assailant might tell you that he s your husband and you re supposed to give him what he wants sexually If you have sex to keep the peace or to avoid a beating you may not see that as coerced sex You may feel too ashamed soiled or degraded to talk to someone else about it It s always wrong for someone to force another person to have sex and it s never the fault of the victim If you ve been raped or sexually abused you may have some special worries If this has just happened please call us at 226 6611 or 1 800 455 6611 and let us help you You may not want to bathe or change clothes if you do at least save what you were wearing Think about getting medical attention Medical professionals will want to do a standard sexual assault kit This
73. ly one part of a whole lot of methods an abuser uses against his partner Battering is never one assault This chart uses a wheel to show the relationship of physical abuse to other forms of abuse Each spoke represents a tactic used to control or gain power which is the hub of the wheel The rim that surrounds and supports the spokes is physical abuse It holds the system together and gives it strength The wheel was designed by a group of battered women and their advocates including Ellen Pence Susan Schechter Barbara Hart Joe Morse Michael Paymar and Miguel Gil Many thanks to the Duluth Abuse Intervention Project in Minnesota for allowing its free use USING COERCION AND THREATS Making and or carrying out threats ta do something to hurt her threatening to leave her to commit suicide to report her tc welfare making her drop charges making her do illegal things INTIMIDATION Making her afraid by using tooks actions gestures smashing things destroying her property abusing pets displaying weapons USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE Putting her down making her feel bad about herself calling her names making her think she s crazy playing mind games gt humiliating her making her feel guilty USING ECONOMIC ABUSE Preventing ner from getting or keeping a job making her ask for money giving her an allowance taking her money not
74. m to feel that way If there is evidence that the defendant continued to engage in a course of conduct involving repeated unconsented contact with the victim AFTER being requested by the victim to stop this shall give rise to refutable presumption that the continuation of the actions caused the victim to feel terrorized frightened intimidated threatened harassed or molested Stalking is a misdemeanor punishable by imprisonment of up to one year in jail and or a fine of up to 1 000 In addition to incarceration and fines an individual found guilty of stalking may be put on probation for up to five years The terms of probation may include a no contact order and or mandatory counseling for the assailant at his own expense If the victim was less than 18 years of age at any time during the stalking and the perpetrator is five years or more older than the victim misdemeanor stalking becomes a felony punishable by imprisonment for not more than five years or a fine of not more than 10 000 or both 2 Aggravated Stalking MCLA 750 41 1i An individual who engages in stalking is guilty of aggravated stalking if his actions include one or more of the following making a credible threat to kill or injure the victim or a member of the victim s family or household violating a domestic assault or anti stalking personal protection order and the assailant has been properly served violating a condition of bond pre trial release or proba
75. may try to change yourself these will not stop or reduce his violence Only he can make the decision to change his behavior Counseling might help you decide what is best for you and your children but it will not affect his behavior Is he mentally ill No Many people believe that anybody who would beat and torture someone they claim to love is crazy and needs help Batterers may need help but they are not mentally ill because they batter Mental illness does not cause battering Most people who are mentally ill are not physically violent What if I ve hit him Doesn t that make me just as bad No Battered women try all kinds of methods to stop the violence They may do as the assailant tells them try to calm him down and give him what he wants They will try to argue and reason or cry and plead Most battered women try using force to get the assailant to stop hitting them The most common things that survivors do are bite the assailant or scratch his face to stop him from choking her or twisting her arm grab a knife and tell him to back off or push him away to run out of the room All of these acts are self defense and not criminal Sometimes assailants will call the police and claim that they are the real victims and show the police their scratches or bites Sometimes battered women are arrested incorrectly If this has happened to you tell the police the whole sequence of events If you ve been arrested incorrectl
76. o think about personal protection order issues Always carry a true copy of your PPO and proof of service with you In Marquette County a true copy has a stamp saying true copy and a signature on it Personal protection orders can usually be enforced across state tribal and territorial lines The federal law called the Violence Against Women Act 1994 has a provision called Full Faith and Credit It states that a valid personal protection order can be enforced in all 50 states Indian tribal lands the District of Columbia the U S Virgin Islands Puerto Rico American Samoa the Northern Mariana Islands and Guam Note A valid order of protection issued by a tribe must be recognized by state courts However tribes are sovereign nations and they may or may not recognize protection orders from other tribes or states Each jurisdiction has different laws practices levels of awareness of full faith and credit methods of enforcement and requirements for you to follow If you are moving to another place or if you live in one place and work in another or if you are visiting you probably want to consult with advocates in both places about your personal protection order Law enforcement officers are required to enforce protection orders from other 63 places the same way that they enforce orders from their own communities Law enforcement will try to verify that your protection order is valid within Michigan by consulting the L E I N La
77. onalties of being battered seem to outweigh the differences of your partner being male or female You CAN get a personal protection order and you CAN get an anti stalking civil order Your partner can be prosecuted for criminal assault You may have heard that domestic violence programs don t accept anyone but heterosexuals the Women s Center assures you that you will be welcome at our program We continue to work on increasing our sensitivity and accessibility to lesbians and gay men who are being battered SECTION XVI IF YOU HAVE A PHYSICAL DISABILITY Assailants may perceive people with physical disabilities as y easier to control and some assailants may choose people with disabilities to batter Assailants often use the disability as another 4 method of control You may be being battered by your personal a care attendant He might withhold food or might not help you use the bathroom He might give you too much medicine or might refuse to give you your meds Because of environmental barriers buildings bathrooms buses that are not accessible people with physical disabilities are already isolated The batterer may be increasing that isolation through such tactics as removing the wheelchair ramp removing the T D D or not helping you get places If you are unable to drive a car use a bus or take a cab it will be more difficult for you to escape There is a myth that caretakers batter people with disabilities because they
78. ond and third degrees are felonies Fourth degree is a misdemeanor First and third degrees involve forced or coerced penetration This is vaginal intercourse penis into vagina anal or oral intercourse penis into anus or mouth or putting a finger or object in another person s genital or anal opening Second and fourth degrees involve forced or coerced sexual contact This includes touching the groin genital area inner thigh buttocks or breasts or the clothing covering those parts against someone s will The seriousness of the crime increases with the number of coercive factors such as more than one rapist a weapon a physical injury other than the rape extortion or the element of surprise If the victim is under 13 from 13 15 and or the rapist is a member of the family or in a position of authority this also makes the crime more serious Criminal sexual conduct does not require a witness other than the victim It s still a crime if the assailant is married to the victim Male on male and female on female assault is also a crime D OTHER CRIMES Many assailants hurt torture or kill pets They may be charged with the crime of animal cruelty Often assailants destroy your property This is also a crime unless the property is owned by both of you The majority of assailants physically or sexually assault children or neglect them 45 a SECTION V GOING TO COURT Whether you are going to court for a divorce or
79. or less Most domestic assault cases the ones charged as assault assault and battery aggravated assault and stalking are handled here Districts Courts also do initial arraignments set and accept bail and do the preliminary examinations for the Criminal Civil Division in felony and high misdemeanor cases District courts also issue arrest warrants and search warrants District Courts do NOT handle civil suits over 25 000 divorces or custody For lawsuits involving financial claims less than 1 750 there is a special part of District Court called the Small Claims Division This is hard to use against an assailant because he has to agree to give up the right to a jury trial representation by an attorney and appeal A District Court may have a magistrate to do some of the work such as 42 arraignments setting bail accepting guilty pleas and authorizing warrants The magistrate s decision can be appealed to the judge _ SECTION IV WHEN IS ABUSE OR BATTERING A CRIME Abuse becomes a crime under certain circumstances Most y abusers commit a number of different crimes Most assailants contact their partners repeatedly and may be guilty of stalking Many assailants hurt children and may be guilty of crimes of child a abuse child neglect or criminal sexual conduct Lots of assailants hurt or kill pets and most destroy property They might be charged with arson or malicious destruction of property or cruelty to animals Assailants
80. orary custody is served with the papers s he has ten days in which to request a hearing about the custody If custody is disputed you should make an appointment to see the Friend of the Court as soon as you get temporary custody They will make a recommendation about who gets permanent custody 2 UNMARRIED WOMEN If there is no acknowledged paternity he is not on the birth certificate the mother has legal custody However the father may initiate custody proceedings You should consult an attorney and consider getting a custody order to prevent him from doing so first If the man is legally the father you cannot get automatic permanent custody You should ask your attorney to file for an ex parte custody order We do not recommend joint custody when there has been domestic violence It requires cooperation and agreement between the two parents Joint custody will 56 increase the danger of continuing abuse and harassment by your partner E VISITATION The Friend of the Court makes recommendations about what they believe is reasonable visitation The law assumes that it is in the best interest of the child to have strong relationships with both parents unless it is shown by clear and convincing evidence that visitation would endanger the child s physical mental or emotional health The court has the power to restrict visitation by requiring that the visits occur in the presence of a third party or agency
81. ou can go directly to an agency which specializes in helping 30 people with alcohol or other drug problems see the end of this booklet You could go to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting or another self help group Note Some self help groups may tell you that you are as sick as your batterer and enmeshed and responsible for his violence This is not true Stick to their message about alcohol and forget their ideas about battering SECTION KV IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN OR GAY MALE SURVIVOR Physical and sexual violence happens in lesbian and gay 4 relationships Many of the same things happen that occur in heterosexual battering relationships isolation psychological abuse sexual violence physical assaults If you are a lesbian or a J gay man who is being battered by your partner you will probably have additional special issues when your partner batters you The bottom line is getting help for the violence usually means coming out Coming out is dangerous It could mean death physical violence loss of family being thrown out of housing losing your children to the state or to the batterer or being fired from your job Your partner may threaten you with outing if you decide to leave S he may use the special concerns and issues of the lesbian and gay community to keep you under control S he may tell you that by letting others know about the abuse you re reinforcing the homophobia of the straight culture and are selling out lesbian
82. our phone If you agree to follow through with criminal charges if the trace identifies repetitive and harassing calls the phone company should not charge you for this service You can also contact the phone company and ask that they set your phone so that it will not receive blocked calls This means that anyone that dials 67 will not get through to your phone but will instead hear a recording that says This number does not accept blocked calls Consequently people calling you would have to reveal their number in order for the call to ring into your home Dialing 69 If you or your assailant dial 69 your phone will call back the last incoming call into your home If your assailant is trying to find out who just called you he can dial 69 and call the person back without knowing the phone number In some areas the phone company will tell you who called and or what phone number just called your house before directly connecting you to the other number If the person calling blocked Caller ID by dialing 67 when you dial 69 the call will ring through but it should not reveal the name or number of the caller However if an answering machine identifies the name or number of the person or business it is possible to determine where the call came from even if the caller blocked Caller ID initially If a number appears as Unavailable usually dialing 69 will not give you any information but will tell you This service is not
83. own the history of what has happened with your partner The Petition must be filed in the Family Division of the Circuit Court at 234 West Baraga Avenue Marquette MI A staff person at the Court takes the petition to the judge HOW TO FILE FOR A PPO To file for a P P O call the Harbor House at 226 6611 in Marquette County 58 or 1 800 455 6611 Alger County The Harbor House will provide you with an advocate who can help you fill out and file the petition Remember the Women s Center Legal Advocates are not attorneys cannot give you legal advice and cannot represent you in court If you don t want to or can t wait for Harbor House to assist you you can fill out these forms yourself at the Prosecutor s Office with the assistance of a staff person You can get a set of the PPO forms from Harbor House or the Prosecutor s Office We think that it s easier when you get help from the Harbor House to fill out a PPO but of course it s up to you A Harbor House Advocate will talk with you more about this in detail If you decide to seek a PPO it usually takes one to two hours to do the paper work and another one to two hours to go to court When you call the Harbor House for a PPO you will be asked a number of questions about your situation This is to help you figure out options and help you be safe MORE INFORMATION ABOUT PPOs There are two types of personal protection orders 1 domestic violence personal protection or
84. present when it occurred Many survivors wonder how their children are doing and what they should say to them about the violence We recommend that you talk to your children about the violence and what is going on AND we recommend that you find some other helpful adult to talk to your kids Here are some suggestions violence is always wrong and what dad or step dad or boyfriend is doing is not right the violence is NOT their fault nothing they did or didn t do caused the violence if you re separated from the assailant that s not the kids fault the assailant does it because he wants to get his way and he has a problem safety plan with your child what to do during the attack how to keep safe during an assault how to call 911 where to run for help what to do during visitation if something goes wrong Don t blame yourself because of what the assailants violence has done to your kids Take inventory of the ways that you ve protected your children and build upon that Some children from violent homes do extremely well later in life particularly if there is early intervention to help them sort out what s happened to them International Parental Abduction Sometimes a batterer will threaten to take the minor children out of the country or will actually attempt to do so U S citizens must enter and depart the US with a valid US passport except when traveling to countries within the Western Hemisphere e g Cana
85. r assailant has an alcohol or other drug problem or if he drinks heavily or uses other drugs especially crack you are in greater danger of being more seriously hurt when he is using Getting him into treatment for his alcohol or other drug problem will not stop his violence What if you are using We recommend that you not use alcohol or other drugs during the time that you are trying to get free of an abusive relationship It may stop you from carrying out your plans and or from getting the best response from people you need to get help from But what if you are A lot of batterers encourage their partners to drink or use drugs and prevent them from stopping or getting help to stop This keeps you easier to control Some survivors have been prescribed minor tranquilizers by doctors Few know that minor tranquilizers are extremely addictive Used with alcohol they can be fatal Some women who are being battered use alcohol or other drugs to numb the pain the physical and emotional pain that they experience in violent relationships A lot of women have problems with alcohol or other drugs Our culture looks down on women who are addicted But it s nothing to be ashamed of it s not your fault Its a common experience Addiction alcoholism is a physical response to the alcohol or other drug You re not a bad person or weak or immoral Think about getting some help You can talk to a Women s Center counselor about your use Or y
86. r harass any person if during the course of or as a result of the travel the defendant places the person or a member of the persons family in reasonable fear of death or serious bodily injury FIREARMS Federal law prohibits an abuser subject to a qualifying order of protection from possessing firearms and ammunition 18 U S C 922 g 8 Abusers are not permanently banned from possessing guns only for the time that the order of protection is in existence Additionally there are official use exemptions which allow law enforcement and military personnel to possess their service weapon during their working hours 18 U S C 922 g 9 prohibits gun possession by anyone who has been convicted of a qualifying misdemeanor crime of domestic violence The gun ban is permanent which means that if a person has been convicted he she can never legally possess a gun again There is no official use exemption and the statute is retroactive 64 SECTION XII STATE LAWS IN MICHIGAN Due to space problems all laws related to domestic violence j y cannot be included in this handbook An excellent summary of select Michigan sexual assault and domestic violence statutes can and Sexual Violence a project of The Michigan Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence 517 347 1377 You can find them on line at http www mcadsv org mrcdsv law legal html az be obtained from the Michigan Resource Center on Domestic In addition the Michigan benc
87. rams and they all have different ways of storing messages You may need to check the Outbox the Sent folder and any other folders you did not create yourself to see what is kept there If you use Netscape Mail empty the Trash folder to keep your deleted messages from coming back to haunt you To do so go to the File menu and choose Empty Trash Folder If you use Eudora make sure that you compact the mailboxes after you delete messages Otherwise the messages are really still in there and can still be retrieved The mailbox might show 0 0 119K in such a case make sure it says 0 0 OK when you are done Word Processing Files If you write a letter in a word processor like Word or Works make sure you know exactly where the file is being saved if you need to delete it you must know the path to the file If you have a good hiding place for floppy disks you may want to keep all your files on them so that you never have anything on the hard disk that could put you at risk Some word processors save a temporary copy of the file you are working on so that they can recover it for you if you forget to save before turning off your computer If you think this may have happened you can check by shutting down the word processor then starting up again without choosing a document first If it has a recovered document on disk it will usually load it automatically then If you close the document and tell the word processor not to sa
88. references file After you exit Netscape look for that file one that has a real recent date time in the Netscape directory and see if such a list is in it using Notepad Delete whatever you need to 23 Internet Explorer You can clear Internet Explorer from its Internet Options panel the General tab which is under View in some versions and under Tools in others Press the button Delete Files in the History section press the Clear History button It s also a good idea to change the amount of disk space used to store temporary files move its slider all the way to the left Finally change the days to keep page setting to zero Under Internet Options Advanced turn off Use Autocomplete as that can also clue someone in about visited locations Chat and Instant Message Programs If you use ICQ AOL Communicator Excite PAL or the like make sure you clean out the history information You may also want to use aliases for some of the names of the people you connect with Remember that these programs store every word you send or receive just like email Chat programs like MIRC can also have logs that you need to delete Even worse many chat rooms have archives that can be accessed later by anyone AOL is known for this And people may be lurking who you d rather not talk to Be very careful what you say in such places and use an alias that only your good friends know E Mail There are many different e mail prog
89. rt of the 1994 Violence Against Women Act Congress allowed abused women who are married to a U S citizen or lawful permanent resident to file their own application for lawful permanent residency Abused women are not supposed to be forced to obtain permission or help from the abuser This process is called self petitioning Congress also allowed immigration judges the discretion to waive the deportation of abused women who have been married to U S citizens or lawful permanent residents a process called VAWA cancellation As you may already know immigration issues are tricky to navigate Do not call the INS You will need to find an immigration attorney who knows about domestic violence The Women s Center will help you find one We recommend that you ask your attorney to consult with one of the following national organizations Ayuda 1736 Columbia Road N W Washington D C 20009 202 387 4848 FAX 202 387 0324 E mail cllayuda erols com domestic violence 31 National Immigration Project of the National Lawyers Guild 14 Beacon Street Suite 602 Boston MA 02108 617 227 9727 617 227 5495 Email Nip nlg org Web http www nlg org nip Then click on domestic violence The web site has newly updated sections One includes an Application for Immigrant Status Under the Violence Against Woman Act 38 PART II THE LEGAL SYSTEM AND YOUR RIGHTS UNDER THE LAW HOW DOES IT WORK SECTION I LEGAL TERMS Alleged
90. s like the browser cache or history this cannot be done so you must do some cleanup whenever you finish a Net session Netscape To prevent Netscape from accepting cookies go to Options Network Preferences pick the Protocols tab and check the box for Alert before Accepting A Cookie Then you will be asked whenever a site you visit tries to set a cookie and can refuse it Do this before you start browsing For Netscape 4 go to Edit Preferences To clear the cache select Advanced then Cache then press the Clear Disk Cache button To clear the History press the Clear History button Earlier versions of Netscape 2 x and 3 x are a bit more complicated to clear To clear the Disk Cache after you are done browsing go to Options Network Preferences the Cache tab and push the Clear Disk Cache Now button Clear the indication of which links have been visited with Options General Preferences the Appearance tab where you press the Expire Now button in the lower right That still leaves the History window Unfortunately there is no button for it You will need to close Netscape then go to the directory where Netscape is really installed and delete the file NETSCAPE HST that you find there If you don t know where Netscape is installed do a search for the NETSCAPE HST file in Windows Explorer not Internet Explorer Some versions of Netscape may also have a list of recently accessed URLs in their p
91. s and gay men If this is your first sexual relationship with someone of the same gender s he may lie and tell you that all same gender sex involves humiliation force or coercion Lesbians and gay men cannot routinely turn on the television and find portrayals of positive lesbian and gay relationships This leaves them more vulnerable to partners telling them that all gay men do this or they are not real lesbians You may be afraid to tell your family because this may reinforce their views that you re in a sick lifestyle You may not want your partner to lose her his job or family by reporting her or him to the police and therefore revealing her or his orientation You may not want to expose the lesbian or gay male community to more criticism You may be new to relationships and may believe this is just the way they are Helping professionals may be homophobic and may not view your relationship as valid or as legitimate as heterosexual intimate relationships You may encounter a therapist or religious leader or other professional who actually believes that lesbian and gay relationships are really sick or sinful If you re a lesbian you may have trouble identifying that you are being battered because you believed that only men use violence in intimate partnerships Your partner may tell you that she is not butch and you have to be butch to batter If you re a gay man you may think that real men don t get beat up or
92. scriptions for you and the children 8 Spare eyeglasses or contact lenses for you and the children 9 Money 10 Photos diaries address books 11 Clothes and toys are the last priority They are replaced most easily 12 Automobile If the car is in your name take it If it s in both your names take it If it s in his name and he has another car and you re married take the car When your assailant finds that you are gone he will probably destroy things that are important to you IF you can take things that are not replaceable things with significant sentimental value Assailants usually take any money that is in a joint account and if they have access to your credit cards they will use them If you think your assailant knows your credit card numbers you might want to change them SAFETY PLANNING AFTER YOU VE LEFT THE ASSAILANT STALKING AND HARASSMENT Change the locks Find a neighbor you trust who would call the police if the assailant is around Get motion sensor lights Consider a large dog Set up a routine with a friend or family member who will check in with you on a regular basis Agree on a code word that means you re in danger Vary your regular routine to avoid the assailant following you Leave for work at different times don t always go to the same grocery stores Use a private post office box such as Mail Boxes Etc They have post office boxes that have a street address File a change
93. temporary custody Even if you know your assailant has been abusive to the children if there is not presently an open child protective services case against him the court will probably NOT give you temporary custody if you do not file first Safety plan with your children Teach them to call 911 practice what they should do during an assault decide on a code word that means they should get help Tell your children s school and day care what is happening and who has permission to pick them up and who doesn t What to take with you Your life and your safety are most important Trying to bring your children is important Everything else is secondary If you can do it here is a list of things you should take with you If you re worried about taking something of his remember you can always give it back 1 Identification Driver s license birth certificate for you and the kids voter registration card credit cards work identification unemployment card green card passport baptismal certificate marriage license adoption records Social security numbers for you your partner and your children Bring your own and your children s cards if available 3 Medical records Health insurance information N 4 Keys to the car and to the apartment or house 5 Any welfare records 6 Financial information such as bankbooks checkbooks savings records stocks insurance pensions etc 7 Prescription drugs Copies of pre
94. they drop out of counseling They have lots of excuses for dropping out such as the fee is too high I m not like those other men they want to brainwash me they blame men for everything the hours are not reasonable etc etc Some assailants lie and say that they are going to counseling and they are not What does NOT work Traditional counseling that seeks a solution to violence by looking at and resolving the batterer s personal problems such as violence in the home where he grew up What does NOT work Traditional counseling that sees the survivor as having any role in the violence 29 What does NOT work Marital or couples counseling In addition to almost never working this can be dangerous for survivors Batterers often push for this type of counseling because they insist that the violence is caused by their partner or is a mutual problem What does NOT work Programs that concentrate solely on reducing stress or managing anger What does NOT work Quick fix programs that are short term and promise immediate results a SECTION XIV ALCOHOL AND OTHER DRUGS Many people believe that alcohol or other drug use causes 4 men to assault their partners This is not true Battering and alcoholism or other drug addictions are two separate problems More than half of the men that batter who are in counseling J at the batterers programs in Marquette County also have alcohol and other drug problems If you
95. tion having a previous conviction for stalking or aggravated stalking Aggravated stalking is a felony punishable by imprisonment of up to five years and or a fine of up to 10 000 In addition to incarceration and fines probation may be ordered for any number of years but not less than five years The terms of probation may include an anti stalking order a no contact order and or mandatory counseling for the stalker at his own expense 44 If the victim was less than 18 years of age at any time during the conduct constituting aggravated stalking and the perpetrator is five years or more older than the victim the crime is punishable by imprisonment for not more than 10 years or a fine of not more that 15 000 or both 3 Anti Stalking Personal Protection Orders MCLA 600 2950a MCLA 764 15b An individual who violates an anti stalking order may also be prosecuted and convicted of aggravated stalking for the same violation MCLA 750 4111 6 4 Civil suits MCLA 600 2954 1 See Section II B Civil Cases C THE CRIME OF CRIMINAL SEXUAL CONDUCT MCLA 750 520a et seq Lots of assailants do sexual things to hurt their partners Some of these things are crimes Some people think that if you are married it s not a crime to be forced into sex that s not true It is a crime to force another person to have sex regardless of the relationship between the two people There are four degrees of criminal sexual conduct First sec
96. to kill or physically hurt you remove your minor children if you have legal custody except if there s a custody or visitation order issued by a court of competent jurisdiction purchase or possess firearms interfere with your efforts to remove your children or personal property from premises that you solely own or lease interfere with you at work or doing things that hurt your employment relationship or environment do any other specific act or conduct that imposes upon or interferes with your personal liberty or that causes a reasonable apprehension of violence including stalking 61 CHILDREN S SCHOOL AND MEDICAL RECORDS The law allows a non custodial parent to have access to a child s records including school and medical records If you are the custodial parent and you are hiding you could get a personal protection order to prohibit the record keeper from releasing your address phone number and employment information If you do a copy of the PPO will have to be served on each record keeper WHAT CAN ANTI STALKING PROVISIONS INCLUDE Anti stalking personal protection orders can be obtained when the stalker does not have a domestic relationship as defined above with the victim When you are being battered i e you do have a domestic relationship with your assailant you may want anti stalking provisions added to your domestic violence personal protection order MCLA 600 2950a These provisions can order the assa
97. ty or nolo contendere no contest or stand mute The defendant can reguest a court appointed defense attorney at the arraignment C THE PRE TRIAL If not appointed at the arraignment the Court will appoint an attorney to represent the defendant at the pretrial unless the defendant has hired his own attorney If the suspect pleads not guilty he may choose between a trial by jury or a trial by the judge known as a bench trial In a bench trial there is no jury and the judge makes the decision At the pre trial the court usually will set a date for trial and may hear motions to determine what types of evidence will be admitted The prosecutor and defense attorney may discuss whether your assailant might plead guilty to the crime charged or to some other lesser offense You may want to be present D THE TRIAL The prosecutor will try to prove that the defendant is guilty of committing the crime beyond a reasonable doubt The prosecutor or city attorney in some jurisdictions must call witnesses The defendant is not required to call witnesses nor is he required to testify You need to be present and you may need to testify If the defendant is found guilty the judge will set a date for sentencing E SENTENCING After the suspect is convicted and before the judge sentences him the Probation Department may make a pre sentence investigation report As part of the pre sentence investigation the probation officer may contact you and
98. u talk to you get into an argument with you or harass you Sometimes you and supporters of the assailant are waiting in the same hall If your assailant is not in custody he may be sitting near you His sister might follow you to the bathroom Stay with your support people if you can There is usually another private room that you can wait in check with your attorney prosecutor or advocate Your assailant s attorney or the defense attorney may come up to you at the hearing or call before hand to talk about the case You are not reguired to talk to the assailant s attorney NOR to the defense attorney He or she may try to make you feel guilty or pressure you Report any unwanted contacts to the prosecutor if a criminal case or your attorney if a civil case Don t be afraid to approach the bailiff or any police officer Tell him or her that you re a victim of domestic violence your assailant or his friends or family is around and you would appreciate his or her keeping an eye on the situation Let him or her know about any no contact or personal protection orders that might prohibit the assailant or members of his family from approaching you You can ask for a law enforcement officer to walk you to your car after the court appearance Take care of yourself both physically and emotionally before and during court time Avoid using alcohol or other drugs and do try to eat something Talk to people who are emotionally supportive of you
99. u re leaving Does he think youre leaving Have divorce papers been filed Has he just been served with a personal protection order This is a time of great danger you need to take special care Has he been drinking or using drugs heavily If so you are in greater danger Has he killed or mutilated a pet Has his behavior changed a lot recently Is he doing things that he wouldn t ever have done in the past Is he radically changing and escalating his patterns of abuse The concept of lethality assessment was developed by survivor Barbara Hart and modified by many Can I change him Can I help him No He has to make the decision to change You cannot save him The only thing you can do for him is to give him a referral to assailants counseling and hope he goes He says he s sorry and that he ll never do it again Can I trust that No Many survivors experience a honeymoon or respite period after an assault Many assailants say they are sorry after an attack Often they will also cry plead apologize and send gifts Some will enter counseling once or twice and then drop out He might share some of his grief and pain with you He ll seem vulnerable and open to you He will remind you of the man you fell in love with However eventually you will be assaulted again In some cases assailants decide that they can control their partners without physical assaults and escalate the psychological controls controll
100. upported by Crime Victim Assistance Grant Award CVA 20315 5V00 awarded to the Women s Center Inc by the Michigan Crime Victim Services Commission Michigan Departemnt of Community Health The grant award of 162 037 00 comes from the Federal Crime Victims Fund established by the Victims of Crime Act of 1984 The Women s Center Inc provides the required match by the use of volunteers 4051 volunteer hours valued at 10 or 40509 00 SECTION II DEFINITION OF TERMS j Survivor or victim both mean the person in the relationship who y is being hit beaten abused raped and controlled The legal system uses the word victim In this booklet we use the word survivor We use the term survivor because it emphasizes that battered zy women are strong courageous people who have survived terrible attacks Battered woman is any woman who has been assaulted or abused Lesbians and men gay and straight can also be victimized by their partners Partner means someone you re dating used to date or with whom you have or had a romantic or sexual relationship It doesn t mean just married people We use the term battered woman because the vast majority of people who are battered are women The Women s Center Harbor House offers services to any person who is victimized in a relationship This includes lesbians and men both heterosexual and gay If you need help call us All of the laws discussed in this booklet also protect men battered by
101. ur partner pushes you grabs you kicks or shoves you Remember what your assailant calls restraint may legally be an assault For the crime to be considered a DOMESTIC assault you and the assailant would have to be married formerly married living together formerly living together dating formerly dating or have a child in common Someone convicted of a domestic assault could spend up to 93 days in jail and or receive a 500 fine Most assailants do not go to jail for the first conviction they receive probation When the assault is more serious or when the assailant uses a weapon or when the injury is severe the assailant may be charged with more serious crimes 43 B THE CRIME OF STALKING Abuse can also become a crime when there is stalking Most assailants stalk their partners at one time or another Stalking is repeated unconsented contact The contact does not have to be in person An assailant who calls on the telephone sends letters through the mail or who sends e mail more than twice without your consent is committing the crime of stalking 1 Misdemeanor stalking MCLA 750 411h Stalking is defined as a willful course of conduct involving repeated or continuing harassment of another individual There must be two or more unconnected and unconsented contacts The conduct would cause a reasonable person to feel terrorized frightened intimidated threatened harassed or molested and the conduct actually causes the victi
102. ut the violence The hard truth is that almost no assailants stop being violent towards intimate partners If they do reduce or E eliminate their violence they do so over a long period of time and with intensive counseling education and sanctions for continuing the violence like probation the threat of jail or the threat of losing a job Many survivors want their batterer to get help and some want to save him Nothing you do makes him abuse you nothing you do can make him stop He chooses to be violent He must make the choice to stop and he must stick with that choice no matter what happens To stop being violent batterers must really want to change and must make a long term commitment They must take full responsibility for their violence without making excuses or blaming others The very few batterers who do change were forced to because of serious consequences jail works the best Interventions that do work take one year or longer It will not happen overnight We worry about assailants going to counseling because one of the reasons some battered women stay in abusive relationships is that they believe their partners will change If the assailant enters treatment counseling or a batterers intervention program the survivor may stay longer in the relationship in the hope that the violence will end A lot of batterers go to counseling one two or three times They use the counseling to convince their partner to return to them Then
103. ve it that should 24 remove the recovered version Otherwise it may pop up in front of the next person to use the word processor Another helpful feature that can leave full readable copies of your files around is the backup feature which saves the previous version of your file someplace with the same name and extension back or for Word wbk In Word check the Tools Options File Locations tab to see where such copies of your files may be kept You can also use Tools Options Save tab to stop the backup process entirely just uncheck the Always Create Backup Copy and Automatic Save boxes Many word processors let you save your file with a password so that nobody who doesn t have the password can read them The encryption used is not real strong but may be good enough to stop someone who isn t real computer savvy Unfortunately people do lose passwords and so there are many tools on the net to help you recover the lost password Somebody who wanted to read your file could use one of those programs and defeat the password So this is not a very good way to protect your documents Watch out for the File menu too Many Windows word processors as well as spreadsheets and other applications keep a list of recently used documents on their own File menu In Word you can change this with Tools Options the General tab by setting the number for the Recently Used File List to zero 4
104. ver losses for personal property or pain and suffering If you have lived with your assailant you cannot receive loss of earnings or loss of support and any out of pocket loss must be paid by the Board directly to each medical care provider G COURT ORDERED RESTITUTION The court may order financial restitution paid to you for pain and suffering loss of work time medical costs property damage etc One of the difficulties here is getting the assailant to pay after the court has ordered it 57 H CIVIL SUITS Civil Suits for Damages Caused by Stalker IMCLA 600 2954 1 If you are a victim of stalking there is a special law which allows you to sue the stalker for the damages caused by the stalking and allows you to recover actual costs e g property damage lost wages medical therapy costs etc general and special damages physical and or emotional pain and suffering exemplary damages court costs and reasonable attorney fees A lawsuit may be brought regardless of whether or not the stalker has been charged or convicted in a criminal case Victims of assaults covered by domestic violence personal protection orders also may have a civil claim for damages under common law theories of assault and battering tortious infliction of emotional distress or other theories Recoverable damages however would not include attorney fees since those are only allowed if provided for by statute I PERSONAL PROTECTION ORDERS PPOs M
105. w Enforcement Information Network Also they may check a national registry You may want to register your protection order with the national registry The national registry is not used by everyone in the same way and is not foolproof You and your advocate can get help with full faith and credit issues by calling the Full Faith and Credit Project at 1 800 256 5883 and or the Battered Women s Justice Project at 1 800 903 0111 extension 2 Note that federal full faith and credit law under the Violence Against Women Act does not automatically protect your children even if they are listed in the protection order _ SECTION XI FEDERAL LAWS J There are a number of federal laws that relate to domestic violence 2261 It is a federal crime for a person to travel interstate or leave or enter Indian country with the intent to injure harass or intimidate an intimate partner when in the course of or as a result of the travel the abuser commits a violent crime that causes bodily injury It is a federal crime to cause an intimate partner to cross state lines or leave or enter Indian country by force coercion duress or fraud if the abuser intentionally inflicts bodily injury on the partner during or as a result of the conduct j Interstate Travel to Commit Domestic Violence 18 U S C Interstate Stalking 18 U S C 2261A this law does not apply to Indian tribes It is a federal crime to cross a state line with the intent to injure o
106. want to know where you are every single minute Does he drive away your friends and family Does he have extreme highs and lows Is he cruel to animals Has he hit a former partner Does he tell you in detail how terrible every former girlfriend was Does he claim that former partners lied about him and put him in jail Does he believe you belong to him Does he tell you it s you and he against the world When he gets angry are you afraid of him Did he grow up in a violent family Does he say he can t help losing his temper Does he say it s your fault when he is in a rage Does he have contempt for women Does he act like two totally different people Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde Does he tell you he has to restrain you for your own good SECTION V WHAT IS ABUSE j Abuse is a pattern It s not just one hit It s one person scaring the other person into doing what he wants her to do It s about one person controlling the other Abuse can be physical emotional and or sexual It usually is a whole lot of different az methods of control ways that one person makes the other person do what he wants The Power and Control Wheel see Section VI shows some of the different tactics or ways that one person controls another It was made up by a group of women who had been abused 4 Many women don t think of themselves as being battered They don t see the things their partner does to them
107. who tells him f you can install your phone line in another residence and use call forwarding After you leave remember to change the password on any voice mail that you use and change the retrieval code for a telephone answering machine Change your email password Remember that anyone with a radio scanner could listen in on a cell phone conversation or on a cordless telephone if they are within two miles distance Digital phones may offer greater privacy but they are more expensive and not foolproof Be careful not to reveal any private information on a cell phone or on a cordless phone RETRIEVING BELONGINGS AFTER YOU HAVE LEFT If you need to get something from your assailant s home or your former home or if your assailant must get something from your home call the police to request a Civil Standby Harbor House can help you get a civil standby This is a request for the police to come and stand by to ensure that there will be no violence or harassment during property transfer Usually the police can only stay for 15 20 minutes so if you need more time you might have to do it more than once Remember that police are not required to do civil standbys SAFETY IN THE WORKPLACE Inform your boss co workers and any security of the situation Provide them with a picture of the assailant and a copy of the personal protection order Ask that your calls be screened or sent directly to voice mail Ask that your offic
108. who break into your home might be charged with breaking and entering or greater offense of home invasion if the home is not also owned or rented by him If he is not the father of your children and you have a custody order he might be charged with kidnapping if he takes the children away Many assailants force their partners to have sexual contact or sexually penetrate These are crimes Name calling isolation and intimidation are often not considered assaults But you should talk to your advocate about your specific experiences It takes help to sort out what abusive behavior is criminal and what is not A ASSAULT Abuse becomes a crime when there is an assault Assailants can also be arrested if they violate personal protection orders or a no contact order An assault is legally defined as any willful attempt or threat to inflict injury upon the person of another when coupled with an apparent present ability to do so and any intentional display of force such as would give the victim reason to fear or to expect immediate bodily harm This means that if your partner pulled out a knife and threatened to kill you with it that would be a felonious assault But if he called you on the telephone and said he was going to kill you that probably wouldn t be considered an assault because it lacks the apparent present ability to carry out the threat Battery is the actual application of force It s when your partner hits you It s when yo
109. women and most of them also protect lesbians and gay men Domestic violence battering abuse and domestic abuse mean the same thing in this booklet They all describe a pattern of coercive control which one person exercises over another Abusers use physical and sexual violence threats money and emotional and psychological abuse to control their partners and get their way Spouse abuse means domestic violence between people who are married Wife beating also means domestic violence We don t use spouse abuse or wife beating because people who are living together having sex or dating can be in violent relationships not just married people Domestic assault refers to a type of abuse that is a crime Something can be abusive but not criminal For instance breaking dishes that you both own or calling you a whore are abusive but are not crimes under our law Assailant and batterer both mean the same thing in this booklet It is the person in the relationship who is hitting controlling and abusing his partner We use the pronoun he or him when referring to assailants in this booklet but as we said before there are times when the assailant is a she Partner In this booklet the word partner means someone in an intimate relationship with another person A partner could be a wife husband lover boyfriend girlfriend or date A domestic partner is a person with whom you have registered a domestic partnership Lesbians and gay men ma
110. y Harbor House can help you set the record straight 226 6611 Marquette County or 1 800 455 6611 Alger County _ SECTION VIII WHAT CAN I DO TO BE SAFE Call the police 4 Write down the emergency number for the police It s usually 911 Call the operator if you don t know it If you don t have a j telephone arrange a signal with neighbors so that they can call the police When the police come ask them to arrest your partner 12 If you are scared to do that in front of your assailant think about talking to one of the officers alone Get support from friends and family Tell your family friends and co workers what has happened Don t try to protect him Ask for what you need Move out move away It s not fair You should not have to leave your home because of his behavior But sometimes the only way you will be safe is to leave There are shelters throughout the country that can help you relocate Harbor House can put you in touch with them Make a safety plan Figure out what to do before or when the next attack happens See below under Section XI Page 34 Get a Personal Protection Order See the Legal Section Section X Keep Your Own Records of the Abuse Keep a journal or log of all incidents of physical violence threats harassing phone calls unwanted contacts missed visitation etc You may also want to include promises your assailant made about getting help or changing his behavior Take pictures of any bru
111. y register their partnership and a few mixed gender couples do too Advocate In this booklet an advocate is a trained domestic violence counselor She will provide you with support and information about your rights and options Any communication with her is private and confidential She will NOT tell your assailant anything you say She will not tell you what to do nor will she judge or evaluate you but will help you make your own decisions and figure out how to best get what you need deserve and want She will believe in you encourage you and fight for you 2 Battering is a pattern of coercive control that one person erercises over another We use the term survivor because it underlines that battered women are strong courageous people who have survived terrible attacks SECTION HI GENERAL STATEMENT Beating another person is a crime It makes no difference if 4 the person who beats you is a friend a relative your boyfriend your lover or your husband Domestic assault is against the law Hitting choking a shoving slapping biting burning or kicking someone is a crime Forcing someone to have sex is against the law even if the person who forces you to have sex is your husband The person who hits you may tell you that it s your fault and that you made him do it He may tell you he has a right to hit you because you re crazy drunk a slut a bad mother a nag etc This is wrong Physical violence is unac
112. you have Tell them if you have been sexually assaulted Let them know about any injuries to the children If your assailant has been using alcohol or other drugs tell the police f there is another warrant out for your husband or partner let them know 49 a SECTION VII IF HE IS ARRESTED WHAT HAPPENS NEXT If your assailant is arrested he will be taken into custody 4 taken to the police station and booked He will be held until the next court session when he will be arraigned After arraignment he will be released If arraignment is not held within 24 hours he a will be released on interim bond after being held for 20 hours The longest he will be in jail for a misdemeanor assault and battery arrest is 20 hours unless he can t post the bond set by the court The police should give you a victim s rights sheet They should take a report The victim s rights sheet should have the report number and the names and badge numbers of the police officers Police procedures may be somewhat different depending on where you live We will also listen and talk to you about what has happened give you information about domestic violence and Harbor House services help you make a safety plan help you decide what you want to do next give you information about the criminal justice system tell you how you can get a personal protection order talk to your children and do safety planning with them offer

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